Starting an affair with a man who is married is undoubtedly not a good idea. Many times our eyes fall on someone who does not suit us, but when we want to realize it, it is too late, we are in love. If you have a decision to make, do it now, don’t waste your time anymore.
Very few gladly accept the place of lovers and the majority wait, yearn, wish, pray and breathe that their lover ends up with their partner and they are chosen as companions for life. You have to tell the truth, this very rarely happens.
1-The kind of people you are with now
Think wisely. The kind of man, with whom you maintain that relationship of lovers, already has a clear characteristic in his personality that will not benefit you (in case the relationship between you occurs, and if you are lucky of being that 5% of the relationship of lovers that become formalized). Already being with you is showing that he is a lying person and that he is not capable of facing problems to the face. What makes you think he wouldn’t do the same to you?
2- Having a hidden relationship wears you out and deteriorates:
Maybe you don’t have any problem being seen with him, but the insurance will have big problems if someone you know sees him with you. Hiding your relationship deteriorates your self-esteem and makes you lose the pride and dignity of feeling led by the hand or arm wherever they go. You are only self-inflicting a serious wound, called resentment.
3-He has everything, you give him what he lacks and you receive the leftovers
He has a house with food and a bed that he shares with his wife. he celebrates with her birthdays, Christmas, vacations and what do you have? Some lunches, dinners, calls and messages after hours. Weekends alone, a lonely December and your birthday in a nice restaurant, then a good hotel and a “let’s go it’s getting late”. Together they have children… and you, you have nothing because you are a clandestine person.
4-Clandestine sex is a hoax
It’s a placebo that you enjoy being with someone married so much more. If that very person were not with his current partner, you would no longer feel the danger of having sex with him and he would be just one more of the bunch. That person, in a parallel world where he was not married, you would have immediately discarded her.
5-You are communicating to your unconscious that you are not worth much as a person
Being someone’s other would have serious negative repercussions on an unconscious level. This is the most important reason why you should consider leaving that relationship, the sooner the better, because after your unconscious receives this kind of message it will be very difficult to make it believe otherwise. Your unconscious will interpret it as: “I’m not worth enough to deserve a complete love and always thinking of me.”
6-You are not a home wrecker:
But whether you like it or not, whether you accept it or not, you are complicit in the act of betraying that man’s trust towards his wife and family. You are not the most responsible, it is true that he is committed, but that does not mean that your conduct is not reprehensible
7-You are competing for the wrong reasons
By competing for ego, you are no longer fighting for the love of that unhappy married man, but you are on the lookout for taking the partner away from the wife who bore him the children. He will definitely make you believe that his relationship with his wife is wrong, but he knows perfectly well that this is fuel for your internal fire to increase and you want to possess it exclusively for yourself.
Make no mistake, you are competing for the wrong reasons. Not for love. But out of pride, believing that by winning this battle you will have the inner reward of feeling more attractive and loved. And indeed you will feel that way for a brief moment; but then it vanished.
8-In 95% of cases it is a guaranteed waste of time
You’ve been with him for years, and his speech keeps repeating itself over and over again? Remember: Those who promise too much deliver too little.
You are tied to a person who knows how to speak nicely to you when there are people who can surprise you and brighten your day with actions.
You say that single men disappoint you a lot; but you are about to feel the remorse of having lost the best years of your youth next to someone who only sold you smoke. In addition, those days that you dedicate to maintaining that relationship clandestinely would have been used to dedicate yourself to meeting people who are available. Everything is a matter of statistics and you have the losing.
9. You will end up being the villain of the story:
It is easier to blame others than to accept shame. Remember that this man has trouble coping with difficulties and most likely accepting responsibility for his dishonest actions. If he is found out by his wife, (and he is going to be) or a stroke of conscience, he will surely refer to you as “the crazy stalker who has been begging him and offering himself to him”
10- You are a victim of your own trap:
Even though he was the one who sought you out and asked you to have a relationship, you accepted it, and we all know it’s a lie that you didn’t know he was married. You are not the bride, you are the lover. Even he has not ended the relationship with his wife, probably he never will, remember that what starts badly ends badly. You’d better not play with fire, and keep in mind that you need some psychological support to get ahead and change paradigms.