Has it happened to you that you think there is someone who is attracted to you, but you are not interested? This is a very common situation that usually occurs when someone finds us attractive, but we are not looking for a partner or we are very well with the partner we have. It can also happen that simply, although the person is good for us, he does not generate the necessary attractiveness for us to think that we might like him. This is totally normal, it happens to all of us and maybe it has happened to you too or maybe it could happen to you in the future, so treat your friend as you would like to be treated. He tries to maintain a balance between having empathy, without causing illusions in him. The first thing, before having a conversation with him, is that you are completely sure that you will never ever want to have a relationship with him. I expose it, because it is good that you avoid at all costs, regretting telling him that you only want a friendship. If later you realize that you feel something for him, it will be very difficult for him to take you seriously and it may also be that he will always feel insecure about what you feel. This can make it difficult to establish a healthy relationship.
We know that this is a time bomb, the longer you wait, the more illusions your friend can have and the more intense what he feels for you will become. This increases the chances that at some point he will try to ask you out on a romantic date or that he will even try to tell you how he feels about you. Which can generate an uncomfortable moment, which can damage the relationship forever, that is, perhaps after the conversation they may not know how to resume the relationship after this impasse and they do not know how to be friends again. In addition, that there will always be the suspicion of whether his feelings have passed or not. So with the intention that you can avoid these situations, next, we will show you how to reject it, without you hurting him more than necessary and without him feeling so rejected that he doesn’t talk to you again. It’s also important that you don’t lose the friendship just because he developed feelings for you. Although if he decides that he cannot sustain this friendship, you must accept his decision.
“I’m just looking for a friend at the moment”
Only say this if it’s totally true and if you don’t like anyone. It’s no use, that first you say that you only want to have friends, and then, your friend finds out that you went out on a romantic date with someone else. This can be detrimental to the friendship you were trying to protect. In addition, your friend will have every right to be angry and perhaps not want to continue with the friendship.
If you think it is necessary to have a conversation about it, the best way to start introducing the topic is from a comment or something that has happened to someone else, so that it seems that you are saying it casually and not you realize what happens to him. Things are going to get more complicated if he he knows, that you know, what he feels for you.
If it is a close friend, avoid using the phrase “at this time”, because it may be that he is waiting for you to change your mind, which can be harmful, because you are sure that nothing will ever happen. It may also be that you feel uncomfortable realizing that he still has hope that at some point you will decide to accept him. If this is the case, the best thing is that you are completely honest and that you tell him that you are not, nor will you be interested in taking the relationship to something beyond friendship. I like you so much! I feel very happy that we are just friends!
Try to say these phrases in a context where they sound natural. If not, it might sound weird for you to say that. These phrases are a great way to convey that you just want to be friends and only see them as a friend.
No one can confuse this message, it will be completely clear to you that you are in the friendzone and that you are going to stay there.
Are you glad that things have never been romantic between us?
A repeated and uncomfortable way to clarify this, is to say the typical phrases, such as: “let’s just be friends”. If you don’t want to say these phrases, but prefer to give her the idea that the decision to be friends is mutual and that you made it together, then this is a perfect phrase.
If you think it is absolutely necessary for him to listen with total sincerity that you do not like him, then you can tell him something more daring and forceful, in this context, this phrase will also help you get out of trouble by telling the truth. In short, if you are reading this article, it is because you intend to be honest with yourself and with others, which is how it should be. Don’t fall for pretending, lying, or waiting for your friend’s feelings to go away on their own, as they will most likely only become more apparent and you’ll need to have more serious conversations.
The best thing, if you are sure that you are not interested in the person, is to be completely transparent from the beginning of the relationship about your friendship intentions. This way you will be able to avoid any uncomfortable situation and that you can hurt your friend. Don’t worry if you don’t have that much experience telling a friend you don’t like him, hardly anyone does. The good news is that over time you will appreciate these experiences and it will be easier for you to detect if someone is having feelings for you and with luck, you will be able to stop these situations immediately.
