While we are children we store what they teach us without realizing it until at some point we begin to apply all that we learned at home in our daily lives. And today a phrase came to mind that my mother repeated and that surely many of you have also heard: “there is nothing worse in life than being ungrateful.”
The proof that our grandmothers or our mothers had a wisdom that is acquired over the years and with living, is that later we read all these truths exposed in theories that come to confirm what we already knew. Ingratitude turns people into contemptible beings who are hopelessly left alone in the world.
Learning to thank brings benefits to our lives. Translating our recognition into a particular word or attention improves not only our social relationships, but also contributes to our psychological and physical well-being. Certain studies indicate that people who are not grateful tend to fall into depression. They consider that most of the time what they receive corresponds to them by nature or that gratitude should only be given according to the quality of the service they received.
The author of the book “how to make friends”, Dale Carnegie; account how this becomes one of the main tools to relate to others and strengthen ties of friendship: being grateful.
At this point you are already making a mental list of all those ungrateful or ungrateful people you met throughout your life. It’s a good thing it took you a while to find some because it’s also unhealthy to dwell on other people’s flaws. Each one forges their own destiny. But before we ran into his ungrateful attitude, perhaps there were some signs that we knew how to see and that today we want to highlight so that we keep in mind what characteristics identify the ungrateful.
These people assume without any hesitation that others are somewhat at their service and that help should come to them “just because”. They are also shown as dissatisfied and permanently dissatisfied. What characteristics describe them? Let’s learn to identify them quickly so we can take distance from them as soon as possible.
1) They always need something: They are the ones who always need someone to take care of the children, or to take them somewhere or to repair something that does not work at home. They consider their mishap to be paramount and expect others to fix the problem for them.
On the contrary, they rarely stop to listen to the problems of others because theirs are always more serious or more important.
Once they receive help, they are hardly grateful that friends or relatives have moved Heaven and Earth to get them out of a jam.
It is important to be grateful to generate empathy in others and to know that in this way you are laying the foundations for a good relationship.
2) They are never available to others: This is closely linked to the previous point in the sense that ungrateful people believe that they are a priority and that the difficulties that others may have are never important.
So they will turn to you whenever they need you, but they forget that one way of saying thank you is also to be present when others need help. In these moments, they disappear.
We all need to feel important to others and for them to offer you help without you having asked for it, it’s worth double. We cannot describe as good people those who only call you when they need you, because good ties, the closest and the most lasting, are forged through mutual construction.
3) They expect help as an obligation: Ungrateful people consider themselves entitled to friends and family running to their rescue whenever they are in a difficult situation. Somewhere in their minds they assume that “you owe them something” just for being a friend or family member and, consequently, help should come naturally.
At some point we can believe that this is so, one expects the help of friends and family but also expects the recognition that is as important as the help.
It is great when someone comes to our rescue in a disinterested and genuine way, but everything loses value when the ungrateful person who never takes into account the good deeds of others pretends that if a favor has been done for us, it is very present.
4) They pretend to be the center of attention, and right now!: Did you notice that ungrateful people always have an emergency? It is common for these people not to organize themselves well in terms of schedules and then, in order to be the center of attention, they require your help to solve the problem for them.
But aside from assuming that you’re going to drop everything you’re doing to try to make amends for their poor time management, they never think to thank you for the trouble you’ve gone to by assuming that their scheduling issues are more important than anything else.
5) They are disloyal: Returning to the initial phrase about “there is nothing worse in life than being ungrateful” we can deduce that from there all kinds of defects arise naturally, and disloyalty is one of those that, particularly, more contempt in a human being.
The ungrateful are hardly loyal and it is not surprising that despite the fact that you have left your issues aside or have run to their aid many times, they still lie and speak ill of you in your absence.
Why do they do this? Simply because they are ungrateful and loyalty and recognition are forms of gratitude, something they could never learn.
6) They generate guilt: Despite the fact that you were always there, that you stopped doing your things to go to their aid, that you looked for all the ways to contribute to solving their problems, if on some occasion you could not give an answer or you could not help them , they will remind you until the end of time, because the ungrateful person does not understand reasons and believes that help is practically an obligation.
They like to generate guilt and make friends and family feel that they can “never” count on them when in reality it is the others who cannot count on the ungrateful person.
Why is it so hard to thank?
Each person is a unique and unrepeatable being and the reasons why they do or say what they do and say are also unique and unrepeatable.
But beyond individualities, thanking is informing the other that their way of acting has a direct impact on our lives. Being grateful puts us in a position where we recognize our sensitivity, that is, our weakness.
Some of us do not mind showing ourselves sensitive or weak, because we know that it is something that arises at a certain moment and that the rest of the time we face adversity and “we put our chest to the bullets”.
Others prefer not to show this fragile side of their personality and hide behind a self-sufficiency that actually lies in the help they receive from others.
In general, we should all be more grateful because it does not require any effort and brings many benefits. How important it is to teach our children to be grateful for favors and help received! Why not apply this advice that is summarized in this popular saying?
“It is well-born to be grateful.”
