There are habits that are the trigger for a love relationship and nothing justifies your partner doing them. Within couple relationships, there are always ups and downs, which constitute the different nuances of it. There are also complicated moments, which are made up because, as they are two different beings, then each one can act differently and may or may not agree with how the other acts. In addition, all of us go through different fluctuations in our mood, which can affect how we treat our partner.
Your partner’s mood should not justify that he feels that he can be aggressive with you, neither with his attitudes, nor words, and less so with his actions. Later we will delve into the things that a partner should never ever say to you.
Before you continue reading, we want to warn you that if you are in doubt that your partner may be abusing you in some way, be it psychologically or physically, then it is better that you consider asking for professional help to better determine if you relationship is within the canons of normality or if, on the contrary, perhaps you have not realized that you can be in a relationship where there are certain aggressions. All of the above does not mean that you are left with the doubt, without further ado, we start with the phrases:
1- Why aren’t you like…?
This phrase suggests that they are telling you not to be as you are and to be like someone else, that your partner thought you could be. It is clear that nobody forces us to be like another person, but if you are very much in love, it can make you feel insecure about who you are. That is why it is dangerous for you and for your self-esteem that your partner, who is supposed to love and accept you, tells you that if you want to start looking like someone else, because that way you will be able to please him. some way. That is completely unacceptable.
2- You’re fat!
It is known by all men that telling a woman that she is fat, in any way, can be a sensitive subject for women.
There is a lot of information regarding the consequences that such a comment can have. From couple problems, to mental health diseases, such as bulimia and anorexia. I think that many women can share the thought that it is important to take care of the partner and that if our partner cares about our physique, then we should take care of looking and feeling good. However, this should always start with ourselves, whether our weight bothers us or how we see ourselves in the mirror. And that it is not a situation in which our partner looked at us, then it seemed to him that we were fat, he decided to make a comment to us and therefore, we lost weight. Can you see what is wrong with the example? First, it’s like we can’t figure out for ourselves that we’re overweight, and second, we are the ones who must decide if our excess weight bothers us or not. And if it bothers us enough to decide to do something about it. There are extreme situations where what your partner says they feel for you can be called into question. If your partner decides to tell you that you are fat, it is unpleasant, but if on top of that he decides to tell you rudely or to make you feel bad about yourself, clearly it may be that your partner does not love you as much as he says he loves you. For who loves you, cares for you and does not offend you. If your partner decides to tell you that you are fat, it is unpleasant, but if on top of that he decides to tell you rudely or to make you feel bad about yourself, clearly it may be that your partner does not love you as much as he says he loves you. For who loves you, cares for you and does not offend you. If your partner decides to tell you that you are fat, it is unpleasant, but if on top of that he decides to tell you rudely or to make you feel bad about yourself, clearly it may be that your partner does not love you as much as he says he loves you. For who loves you, cares for you and does not offend you.
3- I don’t think you can do it
A couple is there for various functions, one of the most important is to support you. Although things seem difficult, it is you who must decide if you think you do not have the time it takes to invest in achieving the purpose that at some point you said you wanted to achieve. But hearing from your partner that you can’t do something is discouraging. At most, it can tell you the same thing that you probably already know, and that is that, it may be difficult and long-winded, but impossible for you, it is a derogatory phrase that can lead you to not even try. And who is served by a partner who encourages you not to do the things you want? To nobody. What development can you have with it? Probably absolutely none. Be careful if he ends up being a toxic person, that maybe he has to stop you so you don’t keep showing him his smallness, that is, if you achieve something you wanted, but he doesn’t achieve anything. So, you are going to be showing him that he has not achieved anything, is he understood? So fight alone or accompanied by what you want and that the people who try to stop you, be like fuel to show them what you can do.
4- If you don’t, it’s because you don’t love me
What this expression says is an ultimatum. That is, if you do what you want, because you love yourself, then it means you don’t love him. And yes, it means that you love yourself more than you love him. Which is right. The point is to balance your self-esteem with the one you have with your partner. The key word is balance, not set aside.
This may be being told to you by people who are trying to manipulate you, make you insecure and blackmail you. They probably want to change your mind through guilt and making you feel selfish. However, you should never give in to such a statement, because you said “no” for a reason and your partner should respect it.
5- Shut up!
Nobody is authorized to make you shut up, except when you feel and think that what you are saying is important. Despite the fact that your partner is angry, that he does not like what you are saying, you are always a totally free person to give an opinion, especially when it comes to something that concerns you or that will have direct consequences in your life. Therefore, you should never ever let anyone limit you. Clearly, within the values of respect, honesty and empathy. If you find that your relationship may have some similarity to what we are discussing, then keep in mind that you may be in a toxic relationship and that you should visit a specialist so that things with your partner can improve.