There are many people who feel depressed, and perhaps upset, when a relationship ends, instead there are people who suffer from something stronger, so strong that they even find it hard to breathe. Relationships take a toll on you, and if you’ve been in a toxic relationship, you’re probably carrying symptoms similar to those of post-traumatic stress.
You may have been psychologically or physically abused by your partner, who has lied to you or blackmailed you, or even been unfaithful to you. When you feel traumatized by these cases, experts describe it as “post-traumatic relationship syndrome”, this is a “recently proposed mental health syndrome that occurs after the experience of trauma in an intimate relationship”. It is difficult to overcome it, but it is more difficult to diagnose it. If this is your case, we recommend analyzing these symptoms.
1- Fear of a new commitment with someone
It’s healthy to take some time to recover after a breakup before dating again. But be very alert if he is going out with someone, as this could be a sign that his last relationship left him with traumatic issues.
This can lead to feelings of hesitation when considering entering into another commitment. People who have been abandoned, or left a toxic relationship often say, “I don’t trust myself to trust another person again. How could he fool me? These people became self-destructive and their self-esteem is on the ground.
If that is the case, it is a good idea to have the support of friends, this can help to go to therapy, to discover how to overcome the trauma that I experienced and be able to trust again, and be able to come out again.
2-Feeling worried or insecure constantly
Feeling oppressed and useless after a breakup is also a sign of trauma. Being part of a toxic relationship creates huge self-esteem issues. Many people who leave toxic relationships feel damaged and believe they don’t deserve another chance to love someone better. These thoughts are usually a side effect of words from your ex, which could have damaged and collapsed your self-esteem. These thoughts, already ingrained, are difficult to remove. But if they are possible to overcome, and more with the help of a therapist
3- Feeling of relief, followed by intense guilt
When a toxic relationship ends, it’s common to feel like you’ve “escaped” a vicious cycle. There is a great relief, while you pack to leave.
But when this feeling goes away, it’s not uncommon for you to feel guilty or self-doubt. There is such a dependency that is created in that toxic relationship that you escaped from, and you can ask yourself: “Did I do the right thing?” or “Was it my fault?” At this stage many people go back to their ex, just to quench that discomfort.
Getting back with your ex is not always bad. But if it was a toxic relationship, you should have a lot of time to adapt, reflect on what you experienced and see if it really is what you want. With the support of others it may be better to move on.
4-Sense of intense isolation and loneliness
When a toxic relationship ends, you can also feel lonely. It is normal that when the feelings of relief end, you feel isolated, alone and afraid of a new relationship. There is a feeling of lost time, days, months, years lost, and a desire to get ahead. All this makes the person more vulnerable.
This can lead to rebound relationships, as you struggle to let negative emotions go. There is a high rate of rebound relationships: where they seek to soothe emotional scars and not be alone. But these relationships are not satisfactory, it is better to trust our loved ones and seek help from a professional to overcome the wounds.
5-Falling into another unhealthy relationship
If you didn’t give yourself time to recover, to heal your wounds and to learn from healthy relationships, it is possible to find yourself again in a different relationship, but just as toxic.
Normally we return with new relationships but again toxic. If you’ve gotten out of such a relationship, and you have the means, it’s important to examine what kept you there and how you view relationships. If you don’t, you don’t deal with the trauma, you will position him again to get back with that person.
6- Difficulty letting go
Like we said, you can feel depressed after a breakup. But if it’s a toxic relationship, due to the very circumstances you fell into, it can be even more difficult to move forward.
After a breakup, you can focus on what your ex said and try to play out scenarios of how things might have been if they were different. You can think and wonder who your ex is dating right now or other things that may be preventing you from feeling totally safe to move forward.
But, it is possible to fill your head with other thoughts that are healthier. The idea is to begin to focus on yourself again and redesign your attention. This can be done with the help of loved ones around us, or with a trained therapist, who can address any issues you may have with letting go of toxic love.