That your partner has cheated on you does not mean that everything should end. Sometimes the most important and intelligent thing is to give the person a second chance. Many times it is difficult for us to digest the fact of being deceived, however as the days go by you can think better and realize that they have had wonderful moments, that by a simple deception cannot be erased. Of course, trust will not be the same, so if you decide to give him another chance to save the relationship and you need to trust him again, you can try these tips, which will restore your lost trust.
work on your self esteem
It is important to always maintain high self-esteem in these types of situations. Many times the first reaction that a person has when they find out that their partner is cheating on them is that of a victim and that makes them start to think that they are ugly, fat or do not do enough for their partner to be satisfied. Thinking that you are to blame is very common in deceived women. Therefore, if that is your thought, then you better start polishing your self-esteem, because that feeling of guilt will probably lead you to fail in other relationships as well. Surround yourself with love, friends and activities that restore joy, meaning and identity.
Do not think that the future will be the same as the past
This can be said to be a mistake that is commonly made by the deceived person, the fact of thinking that “all men are equal”, that is, they are already aware that in the following relationship will suffer the same fate. But nevertheless it is something that has already happened and it is necessary to leave it behind as one more stage of life. It may have been very painful, but it also has to serve to learn and be something that does not have to be repeated.
benefits the communication
It is important that you talk to your partner when you decide to go back with him, because it is not simply about going back as if nothing happened. When it is your turn to talk about what happened and you decide to start over, leaving the past aside, also clarify that it will be the only and last chance, if the situation repeats itself, then the only thing that will remain will be separation. You should feel free to be able to talk to him about your feelings and fears, without it becoming torture. It has to be a healthy relationship, where the basis of everything is communication.
Do not get sick of jealousy
No person is prepared to receive the blow of infidelity, even more so if you were a person who fully trusted your partner. Well, that betrayal doesn’t mean you have to trade trust for jealousy. It is not the case to chase him all the time to force him to behave. One of the obstacles that can arise when it comes to trusting again is to become obsessed with what our partner does or with whom he talks. The only thing you will achieve with that is to make yourself sick with jealousy and that will only take you away from the trust that you should have for him. It’s time to make a clean slate so relax and take things easy.
Give yourself time to come back
Before resuming the relationship, it is important that you give yourself some time, mainly to calm down and come back calmly. Of course infidelity hurts, and the fact that you have forgiven your partner does not mean that overnight everything will go back to the way it was before. You must give yourself the time you think is necessary so that things begin to be better between you, remember that the trust that was there has been broken and it will probably take a lot of work for everything to return to the way it was before. Well, you should know that it is important that before making the decision to return, you first put aside your nerves and the anguish of cheating, because if you can’t get rid of all that, you probably won’t trust him again and the relationship won’t work.
Continue with him only if you are convinced
That the pressure is not a reason for you to decide to return with your partner. Because in that case, as much as you try to strengthen trust, if you are not convinced to be with him after the damage he has done to you, you will never achieve it. To convince you, it is important to weigh everything he has given you in the time you were together (without referring to material things), because that is where you can start to find out if he is the right man and if he really deserves another chance.
This point is one of the most important to keep in mind. Sometimes we love a person so much, but the damage is so great, that as much as we want to give them that opportunity, the pain we have prevents us from doing it and hurts us every time we try to look forward. In that case, if you think you are convinced that he will not do it again, you can also consider doing therapy, as it is not a bad idea to help you see things more clearly and trust again.
Let’s say that a person can make a mistake, that he does it does not mean that he does not love you. Therefore, it is important that before making a decision, you think about it well and decide with your heart. On the other hand, no one will blame you if you decide to finish permanently.