When we have a successful streak, we are happy or it is simply visible that we feel good about ourselves, not everyone is happy for us or shares our happiness.
They even feel upset and sad with her, due to the envy they feel towards us or our circumstances. Since these people can harm us and even make us feel guilty for what we have achieved, it is advisable to know how to deal with them and learn to block their harmful effect. envy is a feeling as old as the man of which it has been said that he is the most shameful of vices.
What is envy?
Envy is an emotion that includes rage, pain, anger and sadness and is born from the desire for “revenge”, destruction and hatred for the feeling or belief that I will never have what the other has, be it a car, a house, the perfect couple, children and family. The envious loses himself in seeing the other’s life and places himself in a plane of dissatisfaction and permanent complaint. The emotion is so negative that it harms both the envied and the envious.
Suffering from envy is a sign of weakness when we consider ourselves surpassed in any aspect by another person, even feeling pleasure when something fails the person we envy.
How is the envious person?
Being envious is a constant way of being, feeling and living; It is a sad attitude towards life. He is someone who secretly has a lot of grudge against people who have something he wants, but he can’t reach it, because he probably doesn’t even try.
How do we detect an envious person?
- It ruins your moment . Something fabulous has just happened to you, and the person in question, as soon as you tell him about it excitedly, absentmindedly downplays it and even belittles it, with phrases like “ ah! It’s fine” or “pufff, it’s not that bad …”. This happens because by giving importance to events or things it makes them feel better about themselves in some way, they say to themselves, well, it’s not that bad, even if you tell them that you won the lottery.
- Criticizes you, or makes fun of you in public. One of the traits that most betrays a person who is envious of you is belittling you or making negative comments about you to other people, even if they are with a jocular tone and you don’t even know what they are coming from, but when you receive them you feel hurt.
- The forced celebration. You tell the envious person the great news and he becomes extremely happy, copying all your gestures of happiness, expressions… but you notice something strange, something forced, something unnatural in the look. You realize right away that he is faking it. Why? so that his envy goes unnoticed .
- Phantom help. He tells you that he will always be by your side, both for whatever it is, good or bad. It turns out that when you need him most to achieve “that” that will make you feel happy, he disappears with a thousand excuses. Envy is very bad.
- It steals your credit . All a classic attitude of the envious Assuming that if he has helped you achieve something, before the rest of your friends he says “without me you would not have achieved it” .
- It constantly brings you down. A healthy friendship relies on empathy, support, and mutual care. So well, at this point the envious person has some “but” or some question every day that takes away the desire for “everything”
- Suddenly disappear from your life . Everything is going great for you, and suddenly the hater disappears from the face of the earth without warning. It turns out that your current happiness is a reminder that your life is immersed in many frustrations that you prefer not to dare to work and get ahead, deciding to walk away.
- criticize everyone . When he criticizes other people with whom he has a relationship in front of you, he will surely also speak ill of you. It is an iron logic, ask yourself: “Why should I be an exception?” and act accordingly .
What to do, how to act before the envious person?
The best formula against envy is to form a circle with people who genuinely want the best for you and who rejoice at every good news.
As much as possible, try to stay away from envious people, and try not to surround yourself with people who can’t resist the urge to compare themselves to others.
If you do not want to lose the relationship with that person, it is advisable that you talk to him or her, honestly expressing what you feel in relation to how he or she acts or speaks. It is important that you do this carefully, considering the other’s feelings and trying not to hurt them. It is not about being vindictive or aggressive, since sometimes the person is not aware of their behavior or does not consider the impact it has on us.
It’s good to trust your intuition, those kinds of people usually create an energetically unpleasant kind of environment.
If an approach is not possible, it is best to cut off the relationship with that person, because, in the long run, it can limit you to develop your full potential and capabilities
“Envy is a thousand times more terrible than hunger, because it is spiritual hunger.”
-Miguel de Unamuno-