If it’s all over, don’t hold on to that piece of history in which you were happy but you are no longer the protagonist. It was wonderful, but you can’t turn back time, it won’t be the same anymore. It’s time to look forward, turn the page and write your new story. May what you experienced be your iron learning and today begin to build what will come. If the past has been stepped on, we will tell you how to start over.
1. Live the duel, but do not sleep there
“We, those of that time, are no longer the same/As if to bring her closer, my gaze seeks her. My heart of hers searches for her, and she is not with me.” These beautiful verses by the poet Pablo Neruda tell us so much with so little. There was a lot of love, but something broke, the two changed, even if you keep loving it, nothing will be the same.
What you have let go of is the relationship, but not the love you still feel for him. Think that if you let him go it wasn’t because you didn’t love him but because happiness for both of you is somewhere else and not together. Let your mind and your heart process what happened. Take advantage of this time to connect with yourself. It is not so recommended that you start another relationship when you have not yet eliminated the residues of the past, it will have a negative impact on the path you take, better wait.
2. Learn from the past
The past is an important part of your life. Do not let the disappointments that your relationship left you tarnish what you can rescue and that will serve you for the rest of your life. It is likely that not everything is a mistake, save what you can recognize as positive.
If, on the other hand, you consider that the mistakes overwhelmed you, then try to learn from what you have experienced. Remember that life is a school that puts you in front of the examination table at the least expected moment, but it is there where you must test your ability to resolve situations and learn from experience. Arm yourself with forces and prepare for the next battles.
3. Change your routine
During grief, certain places, times of day, and actions are likely to turn into a tornado that it hurts to go through every day. Sometimes the entire city brings memories to life. Take the initiative to make some changes to avoid these unpleasant moments, change some habits, do not frequent the same places or at the same times, seek activities that allow you to clear your mind, practice some sport.
Take refuge in your friends, organize outings with them and share pleasant moments. Start doing things that you had put aside but that you really like. Renew your image. There are women who feel better with a new haircut. It’s about giving your life a turn to start over.
4. Let it go
It may be hard for you, but let it go. Sometimes it is very difficult for us to leave the comfort zone in which we are, although we know, deep down, that we are not quite right there and it is usually that false comfort that we miss.
It is about working from the inside, and rewriting the script of your internal scene that is projected abroad. You must analyze what things you do not want to let go of your partner, because certain situations are more difficult than others and place them on a scale against those that caused the breakup. You will be able to find that balance that allows you to understand that it is better to look ahead. He thinks that for some reason you are no longer with him.
5. Forbidden to surrender
You must overcome fears. Do not think that your next relationship will have the same problems, you must leave fears behind. May your past not interfere with the new path you want to take. Do not try to find in a new partner the same defects or the same virtues that your ex carried.
When the feeling of frustration is very great, he may try to dominate you. Do not let that happen. There are women who went through very traumatic relationships and perhaps unconsciously transfer the same fears and doubts in a new love scenario. If, for example, you were cheated on, it is not by demanding from your current partner that you are going to make sure that he does not do the same to you. Learn to regain confidence first in yourself and then in him. Don’t give up, you’ll get ahead.
6. Discard false expectations
That person you loved so much is gone, it hurts and it is very logical that it hurts. No matter how many formulas you try to apply to not think about him, you feel the same desire to hug him, to share with him.
It may be that far from trying to forget him, you are feeding the hope of getting back together with him. You don’t know what he may be feeling. It is very likely that he is not thinking of you as you. People have different processes, different duels. Recover at that moment the reason for your breakup, measure each element that caused the failure. When it’s worth trying again, time will tell. As long as you have no certainty that it is possible, discard false expectations and move on.
7. Start over Go
through the hoop of anguish, expel all the pain that has to come out, allow the tears to fall as many times as necessary, let off steam and then replenish your strength in the hands of time. There are people who prefer to resist the feeling of pain out of pride, that this is not your case, you will not hurt anyone more than yourself, but that this process is not eternal either.
It is possible that at the beginning or in the middle of the duel you think that you will not overcome it. It is not like this. All evil comes to an end and it’s only up to you to start over.
