Do you think it is possible for you and your partner to grow old together?
The first thing that comes to mind when we talk about eternal love is Disney movies. We were programmed from a young age to think that we would be eternally happy with a prince who would fight for us, but really, we must understand if eternal love really exists or if it only lies in princess stories.
We have read and seen so many movies that end with “they lived happily ever after” that many times we feel like failures by not reaching that unconditional love that we expect from the other person, therefore, we must understand well what love is and how it is built this perfect love that we all desire. The question is, does eternal love really exist? We have the answer to this question and we will tell you about it.
We can talk about this topic focusing on two aspects, the scientific and the spiritual, it would seem strange but both thoughts think the same: if there is eternal love.
For a start:
Eternal love is built over time between two people, and must be distinguished from falling in love or personal relationships, because these are not the same. Science explains that love is a chemical phenomenon that occurs in our brain, caused by substances, mostly oxytocin, that makes us feel in love and overwhelmed by this feeling. This phenomenon affects both our brain and our body and it has been discovered that this effect usually lasts 3 to 4 years, in many cases, less than that. What we feel in this period, we cannot control, because we do not decide how or with whom we are going to fall in love and when we will stop doing it.
The great confusion of society in this, is that we have that idealized love as in the movies or when we see our parents and grandparents with many years together, but we must understand something very important on this point: Eternal love is worked and build every day. Lasting couple relationships are formed over time, and love is one of the elements to build a relationship, but this type of love is based on a decision. It is deciding to spend the rest of your days with this person and choosing it over and over again between happiness and adversity in life.
Relationships as a couple are built and love is one of the elements to be able to build the relationship, although you have to be very clear that it is NOT the most important reason for a relationship. Are you surprised to find out about that? Love is not the most important thing but it works to make the moment with the other person more pleasant and comfortable.
How many times have you seen couples who are many years old and have had thousands of problems in the interim?
What I want to tell you with this is that falling in love is not always going to be there, either because life brings economic problems, physical problems, illnesses or a large number of situations that happen over the years outside the couple.
I have seen many couples of grandparents or older people who have had very long marriages, and the only way to stay together is to accept and support each other in times of crisis, because all marriages have family crises, whatever the issue may be. Simply, it is deciding to love that person in the good and bad times to get ahead together and overcome the storms together. Especially, I believe that one of the biggest secrets to keep a marriage happy and united is the friendship of the couple. You can’t build a happy marriage if you’re not best friends with the person next to you. Therefore, I will comment on several important points so that you have your eternal love:
Romance. It is everything you do from what you feel. Being flirty or in the case of men, being gallant, looking for ways to conquer, being helpful; all the romantic acts to conquer the people who make you feel love.
Privacy. This point is essential in the couple, because it is the way we communicate daily. You must build a special intimacy to talk about any topic with this person and always feel good about it.
Commitment. It is the decision to stay with a person and share with her the day to day. But commitment is also a decision, you choose it and you commit to making that human being happy and to be happy yourself because you don’t want to be with anyone else.
These four factors are essential to be able to have a relationship with another person. Attachment or attraction is created from these elements that are the basis of all -seriously of all-, love relationships.
Now, you must distinguish between falling in love and loving, because they are not the same either: Falling in love – Chemical process in the brain, does not depend on the will, it just happens. It is based on feelings. It always ends.
Love – It is the decision of the will to make another person happy, despite knowing them.
True eternal love is the one that transcends, the one that is built over the years and never loses any of the elements necessary to build a relationship, despite time.