Many people say that the fastest and most effective way to get over a breakup is to start a new romantic relationship immediately, nothing is further from the truth.

A period of time alone to reflect on the past relationship, the mistakes made and your own defects, will be the right thing to know, accept and thus not repeat them to avoid creating negative patterns that lead to the failure of a future relationship.

Dedicating time exclusively for yourself and not starting a new relationship immediately after a breakup is ideal and in these ten points we explain why:

1. Insecurities.

For no person is the process that is experienced after having a breakup easy, especially if it was a relationship of several years. This process brings with it feelings of disappointment, sadness and insecurity. When starting an immediate relationship after a breakup, you will surely not be able to enjoy it or become completely happy, since you will be on the defensive looking to protect your feelings and emotions so as not to suffer again.

Possibly the other person falls in love with you and you cannot reciprocate in the same way for fear of reliving past relationships and for fear of failure, this is why taking time to mourn will be really useful and necessary.

2. Just distractions.

Given the fact of feeling insecure and giving yourself completely to a new relationship for fear of suffering again, you will not be happy and not only you, but your partner will be unhappy too, since it is most likely that that new person in your life ends up falling in love with you, he wants to share a large part of his life with you and you, with that emotional chaos that you are experiencing, cannot and do not want to reciprocate, and end up hurting him by hurting his feelings.

You will make that person your distraction for the emotional pain you are going through and you will end up causing damage to both of you.

3. Annoying comparisons.

Remember that you come from a relationship where you will have shared and lived a lot with that other person, surely you already fully knew their tastes in food, music, clothes, TV programs and many other things that you were used to, and when starting a new relationship with someone totally strange to you and that they do not share your same tastes and their customs are different.

Comparisons will inevitably arise between how your previous partner was and how the new one turns out to be, which will be very annoying for that person since nobody likes to be compared to others, and in the end it will bring inconveniences between the two.

4. Unsatisfactory sexual intercourse.

Although there is a popular saying that “a nail drives out another nail”, this is not entirely true. Trying to forget someone by having sex with another person turns out to be more negative than positive. Many people confess that during the sexual act they usually remember their ex-partner and they cannot reach orgasm and some even feel a total rejection towards the person they are with.

Unsatisfactory sexual relations can cause depression and guilt. If you think that this is a way to get revenge on your ex, you only hurt yourself, remember you have nothing to prove to others.

5. Feeling of guilt.

After a difficult breakup you will be emotionally vulnerable. You start a relationship as soon as the other ends, seeking in this way to distract yourself from the pain you feel, and the safest thing will be that you will not enjoy that new relationship that is destined to fail, due to insecurities, mistrust and many other factors.

Once you feel that the new relationship no longer works, you will feel guilty and believe that it is you who has a problem, thus carrying the blame for another bad relationship, when the reality is different. Having sex with strangers or starting another relationship will not help at all, you will only delay the process of assimilation, acceptance and improvement, which will end up harming you.

6. Dependency and low self-esteem.

In order to feel completely happy next to someone, you must first do it with yourself, for this you must take time for yourself without relationships. There are many women who, when ending a relationship, immediately tend to feel the need to be with another person, for the simple fact that they feel fear and fear of finding themselves alone or of not feeling someone’s affection and love towards them. This is nothing more than a problem of low self-esteem and emotional dependence that often requires the support of family, friends and help from specialists.

7. Grieving time.

It is important that you recognize that the relationship is over and accept the fact that your life will no longer be the same, but this does not mean that life itself ends, only that it will have certain changes, and that person will no longer be part of you. she.

Do not immediately replace her with another person to whom you have to get used to, it is recommended that you have your time to grieve so that you overcome and forget the past. A time where all your emotional wounds will heal and then you will find yourself renewed and ready to share with someone fully.

8. Time to discover yourself.

All people are constantly evolving and go through a series of physical, mental and emotional changes, sometimes without realizing it. Now it is time for you to carry out a process of self-discovery, when you finish it you will discover that you are not the same person who entered the last relationship.

You will be surprised at everything you learned without having done it consciously and at what you will now be able to do. All the experiences lived during the journey of that relationship made you a different person even if you have not noticed it, and it is time for you to discover it.

9. Recognize virtues and errors.

Nobody is perfect, this is the first thing you should keep in mind when you start the process of analyzing your past relationship. This process will not be easy and it can be very painful for you because it will bring to your mind all the moments that you lived, both the good ones and the bad ones, but it is a very necessary process, since you will obtain a great learning from power. Recognize your virtues and defects, you will assume your faults and you will make an effort not to repeat them again and you will also know what you were good at, you will reinforce your qualities and you will do things differently for a positive change.

10. Opportunity to fulfill goals and dreams.

Surely now you feel that you have plenty of time, look at this situation as a new opportunity that life gives you to fulfill all your dreams and goals that you have always had and that for various reasons such as being in a relationship to which you dedicated the most of your free time, you could not meet or perform.

Traveling to your favorite place, getting to know new destinations and cultures, playing sports, getting a makeover, getting a tattoo, starting or finishing school… There are many things you can do and what better time than now. You just need a lot of desire and determination to do what you want.

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