If you have a stable partner, it is likely that they already have a favorite sexual position and an established routine in intimate encounters.

This entails a great danger: that the sexual experience becomes monotonous, until it finally becomes something “boring”, a matter of mere paperwork.

Is this something unavoidable? Or is it possible to reverse the situation?

An (undesirable) third party in bed

Many couples go through something worrying: the flame of passion slowly goes out and the relationship enters a lethargy, passing into a kind of total comfort and predictability.

It may be the fatigue caused by a hectic work schedule, the stress caused by problems, economic complications or the routine of daily life: the important thing is to learn to face sexual boredom and enjoy intimacy to the fullest.

Regardless of how much they love each other, passion hits a critical low point. Sex does not disappear completely, but it decreases and boredom creeps into bed, becoming a kind of undesirable third party.

To combat this, different strategies can be implemented.

The first thing is to give intimacy a space and a time: appointments in the middle of the week, dinners or sexual encounters in the middle of the afternoon in a motel: the important thing is to generate opportunities for intimate encounter.

The idea is to avoid established behaviors and appeal to surprise, to the unexpected. Costumes, massages, sex toys, are options that are also available.

The paths

Faced with the loss of desire caused by monotony and boredom, many couples take the wrong attitude: instead of talking about it, they avoid it. They fear that if they say that to the other person, she will think that the love is over too.

However, sexual desire feeds on eroticism and not love, they are like two roads that run parallel. Although they may have internal paths that allow them to go from one to the other, it is necessary to feed both paths so that they are strengthened. Many times, it is only necessary to stoke the fire and propose some changes, so that the link is favored.

Eroticism feeds on many factors. Novelty and variety are two of them and they are often lost in the course of the relationship. A conscious and well-directed effort is necessary so that they are not diluted over time. In general, understanding this is not easy for most people: it is understood that pleasure is something that must come, not that it is necessary to go out looking for it, but in reality we can all prepare ourselves and learn to achieve greater pleasure in our lives. intimate encounters.


It is common that long-term couples have made the form of intimate encounters routine, getting used to a way of approaching, caressing, kissing, etc.

One of the aspects that tends to become repetitive is that of sexual positions. Depending on tastes, personal history and history in common and even aspects such as the education received and prejudices, it usually becomes something mechanical and not very exciting in itself.

Actually, this is a big mistake. The sexual position can mean a great stimulation. Have you ever heard the expression “in the variety is the fun”? In this case, it means that modifying the intimate experience, trying different positions, will make sex “spicy” and will allow the bond to be reinforced.

This is so for several reasons, but there are two main ones: firstly, it allows visual stimulation, changing the perspective between the lovers, also allowing them to play with various implicit fantasies.

In addition, there is something physical: by changing the posture, the stimulation of certain areas is favored, favoring the pleasure of places that, perhaps, until now had been “asleep”.

Try this exciting position

The sexual positions are almost endless and each of them provides a different access to pleasure.

Among them stands out the Coital Alignment Technique (or CAT), which some consider the perfect position, as it has the necessary elements to promote the most pleasurable orgasms.

The starting point is the missionary position, that is, your face up, completely stretched out with your legs spread. Your partner must be on top to penetrate you.

After the preliminaries, instead of opening your legs, you should close them slightly. This facilitates greater pressure in the penetration and you will feel the contact with all the nerve endings that are outside the vagina. To make this friction and pressure more intense, raise your pelvis, leaning on your legs or placing a pillow underneath. Your partner can also help you.

At this point, it is time to create a pelvic connection between the two of you. In addition to the more pleasurable penetration, experienced as the entrance to the vagina is more closed, the total contact of the pelvis of both should be used, rubbing pubis against pubis. In this way, the stimulation of the clitoris is favored, controlling the movement to the maximum so that it is constant and allowing the penis to reach the G-spot. Additionally, this position allows the man to play with your breasts, favors eye contact and allows the longer kisses

For maximum enjoyment, it is important to dedicate enough time to foreplay, promoting proper lubrication.

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