We always think or at least most people think that when we miss someone we should also accompany that with actions that show what we feel. However, sometimes we prefer to keep to ourselves because we realize that our feelings are so strong and intense that if we show them by doing one thing or another, we expose ourselves to being hurt again. It is like a defense mechanism of our emotional intelligence that prevents us from taking actions that serve as a reason to end up with more wounds than we already have.
It may well be because we feel that we have already given too much, because we were hurt enough or because we are convinced that the place next to that person no longer corresponds to us, the reason does not matter much as long as the result implies being distant from each other.
On many occasions it is within the rules to decide to take everything we feel and put it in shelter, camouflage it, embrace what we feel so that it is well protected, so that the person we are interested in shows that for us it no longer exists. and becomes part of a past.
It is not a sin to miss, it is something that we can do and in an intense way, sometimes we can even want to be next to the other person, kiss him, hug him, bring down the moon and the stars, we can even write a terminable message but still not having the courage to send it, simply for the sake of ending up protecting our own integrity. Taking care of ourselves is no one else’s responsibility but ours. It is essential to learn to distinguish when we are being moved by our self-love and when we are doing it out of pride. It is almost the same as putting our hand in a campfire the fact of approaching someone we miss and who has moved away, it is clear that on both occasions we will end up getting hurt. It is normal to adopt a defensive behavior and not expose ourselves to an outcome that we already know what type it will be. Why risk going through that ring of fire if we know we are going to get burned? In that case, it is preferable to keep a distance. However, on many occasions optimism and hope keep us on our feet, wanting to try one more time. Sometimes we feel that not everything is lost and that it is not the time to go back, because in that case fear is not the barrier that makes you take a step back.
It is logical that no one wants to fall victim to suffering, unfortunately love also has its flaws and that is that it can make us suffer when we least want it. The reality of the story is that managing to mesh two completely different lives is not at all an easy task. We all expose ourselves and run the risk of falling in love with a person who does not love us.
That amounts to many things, first of all to end up disappointed, we can also be betrayed, be someone’s second choice, we can even be mistreated or unloved. But all this does not mean that we should throw in the towel at the first opportunity or stop trusting in love. If someone hits you in that direction, find the strength to stay on your feet, back up if you want, but only to gain momentum and keep trying.
At no time should we take for granted something that does not depend on us, we must bear in mind that no one can read the actions of the other person with total fidelity. We are not even capable of deciphering ourselves and even less will we have the ability to understand or know what another person thinks, even more so when we are far away. But one thing you must be very clear about and that is to learn to live without prejudice. That a person does not pick up the phone to make a call, does not give you the company you need or does not write you a few lines of text, does not mean that you are necessarily out of his thoughts and that he no longer feels anything for you. Many times we are aware that at no time did we give the person enough reasons to get away from us,
Sometimes we feel that distance is fair and necessary, and although it may sound incoherent, distance can become one of the best advisors. It helps us weigh, order ideas and see realities where there was only an illusion before.
It is important to give ourselves that time and space that we consider necessary to decide which of the two options to execute: either try to find it again, or simply extend the distance that already existed before, but of course with the strength required to overcome this type of situation. .
If you choose the second path, you have to know how to accept that the conclusions we draw about what the other person thinks, regardless of our patterns or beliefs, will be nothing more than conjecture. In other words, the movie we make in our heads may not be precisely what the other person thinks and feels.
It is true that the act of showing love makes us quite vulnerable beings, and even more so if there are certain arguments that prevent us from showing how much we miss or need the person. In one way or another, it is important to learn to channel each of our feelings. At some point in life it is advisable to be solid as rocks inside, since only in this way the absence and silence of someone will not easily break us inside.
Sometimes, throwing in the towel in the absence of someone can be a valid option, as well as trying tirelessly until we run out of strength, no matter which of the paths we choose, the important thing is that what we are doing does not make us suffer. We must always remember that first of all we are ourselves.