Relationships between couples are very different when they start than when some time has passed and the status quo has been installed. What used to be new now becomes everyday. Before you could see your partner only a few hours a day (if he came!) and each meeting was a party. Now you see her every day and sometimes you wish you could have a little more personal space.
It is easy to start thinking about yourself and little by little stop valuing your partner, but you should not allow this to happen since you have a lot to lose. Surprise and uncertainty must give way to trust and rapport, silly infatuation to true love and affection. And it is that if you stop valuing what your partner brings you, you may find that another person does value it and before you know it you may lose something that you thought you had for sure.
So that this does not happen to you, keep the following points in mind.
There are things that are only missed when they are lost
It has happened to all of us: a toy that we had forgotten and that we have only missed when we have lost it, a relative that we never visited and that suddenly one day left, a piece of clothing that you no longer wore and that one day you found what was missing in your closet… It’s a fact, often we miss things only when we don’t have them anymore.
Don’t let this happen to you with your partner. Value both the good and the bad things, because if you don’t value them… one day you may find that you don’t have them anymore.
Another will appreciate what you don’t appreciate
As the saying goes “there’s always a rip for a ripped”, and what you don’t appreciate, someone else will undoubtedly. If your partner does not feel valued enough, rest assured that another person will value them more than you, and even if your partner wants to remain faithful, it will be difficult for them not to feel more and more attracted to this third party who knows how to better appreciate what they are worth.
We all like to feel loved, and if the only thing you get from your partner is indifference and routine, it is very likely that a change of scenery is just around the corner. Value your partner before someone else does it for you.
Maybe next time there’s no turning back
Maybe this has already happened. The feeling of abandonment that a person feels when he does not consider himself valued enough can make him feel like abandoning her partner and looking for someone who values her for who she is. But love or words (“it won’t happen again”, “ I’ll change, I promise you ”) can make her return to her partner’s arms.
However, this has a limit. It may be 20 times or it may be 1, but at some point the bird that flew out of the nest will find that it is happier flying freely (or accompanied!) than with someone who does not appreciate it as it should. Fix it before it happens.
Low self-esteem makes relationships difficult.
Your partner may be the most faithful person in the world and not even the lack of attention that you display makes her think for a moment of abandoning you. Even in these cases, the loss of affection and attention will make a dent in your relationship.
Your partner, although faithful, will feel hurt and abandoned and a deep sadness will seep into her little by little.
This melancholy will cause a relationship that is already damaged to sink little by little into a mud from which it will be difficult to come out with guarantees of success. Get ahead of the situation and remedy it.
If you love someone, your priority should be their happiness.
Do you really love your partner? So why don’t you give her the case she deserves? If the number one priority of your relationship as a couple is not that your better half is happy, you may have to rethink if you really want to maintain this relationship.
You may be happier with someone else and your partner may find someone who truly completes them.
If, on the other hand, you think that you really want her to be happy, make an effort to achieve it: fight for your partner, pay attention to her and recover those feelings that one day made you want to join her.
I may start to value more the time I don’t spend with you
If you stop paying attention to your partner, if you start to focus only on your projects and stop doing what only interests her, she will surely pay you back in kind and start focusing on her own projects and hobbies.
It is good to have separate tastes and not be stuck together like limpets all day, but you have to find things and hobbies to share in common, even if you like them less than others that you do on your own.
A couple that does absolutely everything separately is doomed to separate permanently.
You will end up running out of the things you appreciate
There are tastes and hobbies that you share as a couple, but there are others that only she likes and that you don’t even want to hear about. Again, you don’t have to like everything your partner likes, but if you don’t make an effort to be interested in what she likes, she may lose interest in participating in joint hobbies.
Maybe you don’t like watching his football games at all or going with him to buy clothes, but if you don’t compromise from time to time by doing these hobbies together, you may lose others that you do like to share: going out to dinner, watching a movie…
If you really appreciate your partner show it
If you really value your partner, why don’t you show it to them? You don’t need to buy her expensive things or tell her all day how much you love her (although the latter may help).
Sometimes it is enough to demonstrate with your actions what does not come up with words. A touch, a show of affection or a look can do much more than a box of chocolates once a month.
If those looks are cast by someone else, it may be too late when you want to show your partner how much you value them.
Beware of “friends” who criticize your partner
Be wary of those “friends” who do nothing but criticize your partner, arguing that he doesn’t let you do things or has you trapped. In some cases it will be true (and you will have to realize it yourself), but in many others they will simply want you to get away from your partner so they can “enjoy” your company without discomfort.
Make it clear to them that your partner is important to you and that you value them more than anything. If they are true friends they will try to maintain your friendship and will not try to interfere in your relationship again.
If they keep doing it… they are either really your best friends (and you should consider your relationship) or your worst enemies.
If you don’t value your partner, she will stop valuing you.
Let’s face it, everyone gets tired of being ignored all the time.
Your partner may adore you, but if you continually show her how little you value her, she will end up losing the empathy that binds her to you and will end up paying you back in kind.
A relationship without empathy is a relationship condemned to the fact that a third party comes to interfere in it looking for the “remains”.
Begin to value your partner, begin to value your relationship and you will see how you are reciprocated and a new spark arises where it seemed that only ashes remained.