The love that is begged is not love, begging for affection is a lack of dignity and respect for oneself. Love above all is self-esteem, it is love towards oneself, therefore, so that your relationship can develop in a healthy way, the first rule is this, love yourself and love yourself to live love to the fullest thus avoiding falling into manipulation, abuse or victimization.
Every human being has the ability to overcome himself, to make it impossible for his feelings to be taken advantage of and to realize when a relationship does not deserve us because it does not offer us happiness, joy or growth. There are many of us who fall into the trap of love, we believe that what our partner does or does not do is acceptable, be it positive or negative, and that we must accept it out of love, this is a confusing situation in which we do not know whether to flee or stay with the hope that the pain passes and love heals everything.
Sometimes we exaggerate things like in a simple text message, for example, we ask questions like, What did he write to you? why didn’t I write to you? how long do I take? What if I read and you don’t respond? etc, etc, etc. If we consult it with our relatives, they will surely tell us that we are exaggerating, that we do not let it breathe; On the other hand, others will say the opposite, that your partner does not love you, that if they were interested they would show it to you… and you, what do you feel?
To stop listening to what others say and build a good relationship with your partner, keep in mind if you are only in the mood to establish and are committed to the relationship or otherwise evaluate it so that you do not have to beg for love.
Steps to stop begging for love
Find a quiet place and moment in your day, without the interruption of people or social networks, take the time to reflect and listen to what your heart feels. Although it is correct that reason should prevail before emotion, it is convenient to evaluate the experiences and situations that you lived together, what bothers you and what you like about your partner, if at this moment you feel restless, perhaps it is best to finish, It is very likely that you are not finding happiness with the person who is by your side. When doubts arise about how the relationship is going, you can confirm if these are true or if, on the contrary, they are the consequence of agents external to the relationship. For this, when there are doubts, it is good to establish if your partner reacts to your changes, for example, stop sending messages, not looking for him, not seeing him, not be you the one who always calls or the one who invites him to do things all the time. And then wait for his reaction, that will be the clearest answer.
Do not be scared: Understand that human beings are animals of habit. If your partner knows you so well, that in the face of an inconvenience you tend to return, your partner will do absolutely nothing to look for you, that is the key to defining whether you continue or definitely continue on different paths. Accepting and saying goodbye to a love that does not love us requires that we respect our time of mourning. A duel that requires in itself a space for the assimilation of what has happened to us.
The anguish of realizing that someone does not love us makes us feel that something is devouring us from the inside, which is why dueling for love needs reflection and overcoming. We feel that this “no love” has betrayed our feelings, that they have laughed at us.
Do not create hatred or resentment: In order for your heart to see clearly what you feel and what he feels, it is necessary that you get rid of all hatred and resentment towards him. Otherwise, anger, resentment and even sometimes the desire to take revenge for having to ‘beg’ him for his affection, will blind you and even if he really loves you, it will be impossible for you to see or feel it clearly. Love should be shown, not begged. To do so is to subject our ability to love to the worst of executioners: indifference. Indifference feeds on the imbalance of the relationship and is sustained thanks to the weakness of the foundations. Nothing better than continuous signs of disinterest to begin to open our eyes when we feel compelled to close them.
Do not make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion: Decisions based on negative emotions should be avoided in all aspects of life, and even more so in love.
All this is essential to love ourselves, feel important and value ourselves. After all, when a “no love” is left, a process of emotional freedom begins that is framed in well-being by saying goodbye to pain.
If you don’t allow it, no one can make you unhappy. To build a happy couple relationship, you must first love yourself, we must show each other that we love each other every day.
When we achieve this we will be in a position not to look for someone who does not surprise us and does not show interest, not to give ourselves over to the emotional executioner of indifference. True and indispensable love is love for oneself and from this feeling we will be able to separate and assert what we deserve and what we do not deserve.