Being in love, accepting that Cupid’s arrow sinks deep into our hearts, does not seem to be easy for those people who are afraid of commitment and look with suspicion at the vulnerability that love awakens. “What is love but a sweet indefinite restlessness, a want to be close and contemplate, say goodbye a hundred times and not leave, that, although everything has been said, something is forgotten”.
These anonymous verses define very simply what we all feel when love knocks on our door, when it makes us immortal and invincible, but at the same time so weak and vulnerable. Letting oneself be carried away by one’s feelings seems to be a thing for the brave, since it is the greatest reason that feeds the fear of falling in love or losing the ability to reason.
There is no magic formula for someone to fall completely in love. Love is not logical or mathematical, simply when it comes it is to stay, just like when we want someone to stay by our side, but if they are not willing to open their hearts, there is not much we can do, because love build two.
People who find it hard to commit don’t like pressure, or feel cornered by a relationship, because they have found their best comfort zone in being single. Breaking with that excuse and finding the best way to invite him to walk the paths of love with your hand, will be your challenge.
Don’t show anxiety or desperation
Never lose your cool. Let the process in which he adapts to you be slow, and arm yourself with patience because it will not be so quick to rip him out of that world in which he feels so comfortable. Let him get used to you little by little, create moments to share together, do not pressure him, learn to negotiate everything slowly or you will scare him away.
Doesn’t respond to messages? Don’t complain… wait
It is about you learning to control your anxiety, almost like a game of resistance. Sometimes it’s terrible for us if he doesn’t respond, in 10, 20 minutes, an hour. Anguish is torture and we tend to transmit our nerves and how upset we feel. Do not make that mistake, free people accommodate their time as they see fit, they are not aware of commitments, it is not that they do not take you into account, they simply continue living their normal life and routine. Do not be scared or complain for no reason.
You haven’t seen him for a week or even longer
Don’t worry, it’s not that he’s not interested in you. He has his rhythm, his forms and his times. Write to him from time to time, just make him feel that you are there, with the excuse that you think is convenient. He will get used to you little by little, you can propose an activity that he likes.
Never make him feel obligated, don’t force situations
That you meet him by chance once, maximum two, is not bad, it is a way of trying to connect with him without him noticing, but if the fact is repeated many times, not anymore. They will begin to feel that you are chasing them or perhaps, that you are controlling them. Better not be so pushy. Do not force situations from which you can get an unpleasant surprise. He may not want to meet you at that moment, for whatever reason, because he had a bad day, because he does not have time for you, because he has worries and if he feels harassed he will be much worse.
Don’t chase him on social media
Social networks are often guilty of discord between couples. If you claim who is the one in the photo, or where you were or with whom or why you did not tell me, it is the greatest pressure you can put on a person who is used to feeling free, you will only make him remember because he does not want to make commitments. Nothing you claim has to be without support, if you are not sure that what you claim is concrete, it would be better not to do it.
You must also show her that your time with friends is important
If you show him that you are capable of making your own plans with friends, of doing the things you like, your own hobbies, creating your own space, then he will feel more relaxed, because he is sharing with someone who values his life and who will not be pending him permanently, doing activities separately is something that also enriches the relationship.
Show that you are a mature person who knows how you want to live
He has not yet found the right person for him, he does not know love or how to cope with a relationship. It is there where you must show him that you are a mature person, sure of himself who has the ability to seek love that is a complement in his life, but never live the life of the person with whom he has a relationship. Let him know that you know what you want in life, that you have a north and an objective, projects and dreams.
Don’t wait for a psychologist, wait for a partner
Love when it is true implies sharing a life, it is true, but that means learning to build the relationship based on love, on that new experience in the lives of both. It is not that he is your psychoanalyst, do not look for consolation in your partner, but rather, an exit door with someone special who will make you billiards and shine with you. Mutual support is good as long as it is part of that building that they do together every day.
Well, you have in your hands the opportunity to work because that person you want learns to love you and share his life with you, decides to always stay by your side, it depends on the intelligence, maturity and affection with which you handle the situation. But keep in mind that if, even so, he is not able to give himself to you, then it is not worth continuing. Think that, if you close that chapter of your life, the love that is for you will be waiting for you, just be patient.