In love there are no guarantees and much less in love relationships. Eternal loves exist, but they are not something we come across every day.
For various reasons, relationships end and if you had a very strong affection for that person, you will surely shed many tears, especially if the one who put the end point was him.
But you need to get back on your feet, a stumble is not a fall and after a disappointing experience, something much better can come for you.
Although sometimes, it is not so easy.
Traditionally, love is thought of as something that we cannot control and in extreme cases, that it comes to dominate us. The problem is when we fall in love with people who are harmful or toxic to us. We know that it does not suit us, but it seems that what we feel is beyond our possibilities. Stopping feeling love for someone can even be good for your health and more clearly in cases where there are abuses, with the presence of physical and verbal violence, but also when there is unrequited love.
A true battle is established between the heart and the brain. It can be difficult, but there are certain habits and behaviors that make it more likely that we can fall out of love with someone.
How to do it
It may be an old relationship or one of a short time, but at some point the emotional bond is broken. Worse yet: it breaks on his side, leaving aside what you feel.
It can also be a conflictive relationship, harmful to you.
But there is a problem: you still love him. You know you should stop doing it, but you still love him.
Your thoughts go back and forth to him and the good times you had together. Then, you know that it won’t be anymore and you feel bad.
Your brain knows that you should forget it, turn that page of your life, but your heart doesn’t understand.
It’s not easy, but you can. It is not an easy road, but you can walk it.
Saying we want to fall out of love is easier than doing it, but it’s not impossible. With these tips you will be able to forget that person who broke your heart and make those feelings weaken, to achieve your well-being and personal autonomy.
– Do not run away from the pain or try to mask it by resorting to extreme measures such as immersing yourself in alcohol, drugs or going out partying without rhyme or reason. Don’t run away from pain, cry if that’s what you feel, don’t hold back. After that emotional release, it will be easier for you to get over the breakup.
– Do not torture yourself, stop remembering over and over again the most romantic and beautiful moments you lived with that person. It’s okay that you keep the best details, but stop looking at her photos and the most beautiful moments they shared. Do not be tempted to resume contact.
– Give yourself time to heal, it doesn’t have to be from one day to the next. This time of healing wounds is totally yours. The best thing you can do is enjoy the things you like the most, have activities that distract you and make you happy and even try new adventures and challenges, resume activities that you had abandoned, etc.
– Go for a run, have physical activity, do not close yourself only in what you are feeling. You have the opportunity to enjoy a single moment again, take the opportunity to rebuild your life with new routines that make you independent. Many people, when starting a couple, make their life revolve exclusively around their partner, moving away from their friends and closest people, including sometimes their family. If this is your case, you will have to rebuild those relationships to redirect your life, with individual routines.
– Completely cut off contact with your ex-partner. By having contact, you cause the production of oxytocin, a hormone related to affection. By not seeing him and having contact with him, it will help your desire to have him close decrease, because you will get him out of your heart and out of your head. That is the first step to “detox” from that love that now torments your life. Taking distance in every possible way will be a very good thing for you.
– Recompose your self-love. It is normal that when we fail in a love relationship we feel bad, constituting a serious blow to our self-esteem. We think that no one will want to be with us from now on.
This is, of course, fruit of the moment. Make a self-evaluation of your own concept and your image, appreciate the person you are, what you have achieved so far and what you deserve. Say no to frustration, a stumble is not a fall: what has happened to you must be assimilated as an experience, not as something definitive in your life.
– Concentrate on the things that are necessary or useful to you. That helps you get away from rumination, which works like a vicious circle, since almost everything we do or see reminds us of what makes us feel bad. In this way, you feel sad, you think about the origin of that and as a result, you feel even sadder.
– Do not focus your energy, your anger or your frustration on who has left you. For example, in some cases thoughts related to the idea that we have the right to be loved by that particular person appear; we understand that there is a kind of “pact” that he has forgotten. Obviously this idea is absurd and not based on anything real, but the most emotional situations can generate these kinds of crazy ideas and make them seem reasonable.
– Talk about what you feel with people who love you well. There will be times when you can no longer keep it, look for trusted people who listen to you, it can be a family member, a friend, but also professional advice can be essential.
You learn from everything: find something good in the relationship, a learning that has left you. You will not come out of this situation happy, but you will be strengthened. Also think that in some way, you have achieved something important: someone left your life who did not deserve you and did not appreciate you.
Remember: the best is yet to come.