There are couples in which insults and shouts are common. In which the man permanently belittles his partner. This is not something “normal” or healthy, it is disrespect and abuse of one towards the other person. This is something that must be remedied immediately so that the relationship has a future and so that the coexistence between the two is satisfactory. But how to reverse this situation?
The symptoms
Respect is something basic and fundamental in every couple. If it doesn’t exist, it’s not a healthy relationship.
When they lose, the couple enters a slippery and dangerous terrain: respect is not “something that is earned”, but is the basis of all relationships. If you are going through that, it is because your partner feels in a dominant position and with the possibility of getting on top of you and humiliating you.
Lack of respect in a relationship is not an easy thing to change, but just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s impossible. If the problem is addressed in time, you can try a positive change, so that he respects and values you as a person again. There are some situations that give it away, but that are simply allowed to pass until the situation becomes untenable.
The symptoms that there is a situation of disrespect and inequality in a relationship are the following:
– Your partner looks at your cell phone, your email or your social networks. This control and invasion of your privacy is considered something “normal” in a couple, but it is not. We all deserve our personal space and, above all, the trust of the couple. – He judges you by your clothes and he intends to impose a way of dressing on you. There is something very simple: you are you, you use what you want and he must accept it. If he doesn’t, it’s because he doesn’t like you the way you are and he doesn’t respect you as a person. How were you and did you dress before being together? He met you and accepted you like that, therefore he now has no right to tell you how you should fix yourself. It’s your body, it’s your life: you just rule. – He judges you for what you say, think or do: it is one of the most obvious signs that your partner does not respect you in the way you see the world and communicate. If he questions all that as soon as he questions you and tries to annul you, it is because he is not respecting you at all. – He insults you or yells at you. In a discussion the atmosphere can “heat up”, but the line that separates an exchange of ideas (even if it is risque) from a violent situation should never be crossed. Insults, shouting and aggression are indicators of the lack of respect that your partner has towards you.
To do
If your relationship is going through an unequal situation, in which lack of respect prevails and you are being dominated and subjugated, it is time to change. These are some tips so that your partner respects you and you can have a fulfilling relationship.
– Analyze your relationship. Do some of the points you saw above occur? Is it the usual way in which they handle each other in the relationship?
– If you did not do the previous point, but you are wondering: “how to make my partner respect me?”, it means that your relationship is already at that point and recognizing it is the beginning of the solution.
– When you detect any of the aforementioned signals, it is essential that at that very moment you do not let them pass and do not accept their comments. Sit down to talk quietly about the subject, defend your individuality, it should be clear to him that this comment bothers you and makes you feel uncomfortable with the relationship. Remind him that you are a person with your opinions, your tastes and your decisions and that he cannot interfere in your whole life. Both are independent beings who decided to unite their lives to be happier, but individuality must always be respected. The couple should never interfere in the personal development of each one, rather they should support and empower it. If he does not understand it that way, seriously consider the possibility of putting an end to it. – Do not use threats or comments of the type “if you continue like this I will leave you”, because they only lead to sterile discussions. In addition, they do not contribute to a real and permanent change in your partner. Try to communicate with him, explain your feelings when he makes that kind of comment. Neither shouting nor nerves will be useful at that moment, you must do it in a relaxed and reflective way to guarantee empathy. Explain to him how you feel when he judges the way you dress or when he puts you down for your thoughts. Do it in a calm way, encourage conversation, only then will he understand you and try to change so as not to hurt you more. you should do it in a relaxed and thoughtful way to ensure empathy. Explain to him how you feel when he judges the way you dress or when he puts you down for your thoughts. Do it in a calm way, encourage conversation, only then will he understand you and try to change so as not to hurt you more. you should do it in a relaxed and thoughtful way to ensure empathy. Explain to him how you feel when he judges the way you dress or when he puts you down for your thoughts. Do it in a calm way, encourage conversation, only then will he understand you and try to change so as not to hurt you more.
– A little distance and time can be a good way to deal with the situation. Sometimes people take the relationship for granted, so when an estrangement occurs, the necessary changes are encouraged to recover it, since “one does not appreciate what he has until he loses it.”
– It is important that each one has their independent life so that life together is satisfactory. Missing each other, planning dates and having an individual life outside of the couple helps a relationship work properly. Go out with your friends, practice your hobbies and dedicate the right time to your partner, but never your whole life. If he doesn’t understand this, he must for a healthy relationship.
If after having talked and tried in different ways that he values and respects you, your partner is still in the same position, the most appropriate thing for you is that you end the relationship in a definitive way.
If a relationship does not allow you to develop as a person, it is not good for you and you will get nothing positive if you continue in it. If that person constantly disrespects you, he humiliates you or judges what you do and what you think, in the long run, sooner or later you won’t even feel good about yourself. If the changes do not come, consider ending the relationship. You are worth a lot and no one should make you doubt it, or prevent you from being what you want to be.
