From keystrokes to motion sickness bags, here are the crucial tips for pulling off the adventure in flight.
There are some titles you will earn that no one can take away from you: one of them is being a member of the Mile High Club.
Yeah, once you’ve made it to 30,000 feet, you’ve pretty much won the “Where’s the kinkiest place you’ve ever had sex?” game for life. You will own everyone in “I have never”.
Even better, having sex on the plane, contrary to popular belief, doesn’t require chartering a private jet or getting arrested when your flight lands. No, it is totally easy to comply!
Mile High Club is a prestigious organization of people who have achieved an ultimate goal. It’s a coveted prize for good reason: aircraft vibrations and lower oxygen levels can heighten arousal and can lead to more intense orgasms.
But just like a heist or a bank robbery, it’s a complicated endeavor that requires stealthy planning to pull off.
Do you want to join the club?
Read the following.
1. Know the risks
First things first: joining the Mile High Club isn’t entirely legal, and the consequences can depend entirely on the mood of whoever catches you. Some flight attendants may simply pat you on the wrist, while others may alert the captain, meaning you may find authorities waiting for you at your destination. You will face charges of indecent exposure or potential interference with the flight crew, which carries a sentence of years in prison (in some countries). But hey, with great risk comes great reward.
2. Book a night flight
If you’re traveling anywhere abroad, on vacation, on business, to catch an international art thief, whatever, make it a night flight.
Nobody gives a fuck about those flights, so if you think about it, you’re almost halfway there and you haven’t even boarded yet, which is pretty cool.
3. Dress for success
If ever there was a day to go to the front, this is it. There is a different dress code to do it in the air. She should wear a skirt for easy access, she might consider sweatpants, or at least avoid buttons and belts. She will want as few barriers as possible between you and everything that happens that night.
You can even consider not wearing any underwear at all.
4. Prepare yourself mentally
Get your head in the game before you reach the door. This may rob the moment of some spontaneity, but deciding in advance that air relations will be your next conquest will help you achieve it.
Building anticipation can heighten the excitement and will also keep you from wondering “Should we? / We should not?” something you should avoid. He approaches this with the “James Bond” level professionalism he deserves.
Now the question is: In the bathroom or do we look for a blanket?
5. The toilet on the plane
The bathroom is amazing and the safest place to have sex.
Step 1: Since most larger planes flying international routes don’t allow two people between seats (with their large center sections and pairs of double seats on either side), the “sex in seat” option is less likely on this type of aircraft. Request a seat on the plane near the center cabin restrooms.
Step 2: Wait until the flight attendants start taking their breaks. This is after the FIRST meal service. The cabin lights going out at the front of the plane will be your signal.
Step 3: Wait a bit in the center cabin bathrooms after people start to fall asleep. This usually happens around three to four hours into the flight.
Step 4: Again, no one cares that much on these flights, so as soon as you see the restrooms are empty, make your move and let the action begin.
Step 5: The queen must go first. She waits for a moment when there is no queue and sends her away, keeping an eye on which bathroom she entered.
Make sure he closes the door.
Step 6: After five minutes, tap gently but clearly (use a secret tap!). That secret hit will make sure you don’t run into someone else in the bathroom.
Step 7: Find a suitable position. There are really only two sex positions on a plane.
One involves getting off the toilet seat, sitting down, and having her go around town reverse cowgirl style.
The other position is when you have her propped up on the sink so she’s waist-high and you’re facing each other. If you don’t have any aversion to germs, this is your best option. Time is of the essence here, so go ahead and embrace the quickie.
Avoid leaning against walls at all costs, even if it’s blocked; You’ll have a harder time making excuses to the flight crew if the two of you walk through the door half-naked.
Step 8: Have a strategy to escape the bathroom.
Get down and get away with it. Like any heist, your date will need an escape route. In a perfect world, there is no one waiting for the bathroom and she can get out quickly so you can close the door, and you can join her a few minutes later. But we don’t live in a perfect world, so anything can happen.
As a backup plan, carry a motion sickness bag with you, so if they get caught, you can say that your partner was helping you with certain problems, or you were helping your sick partner, okay?
6. Having sex in the seats of the plane
Having sex in airplane seats is really something for couples on another level. These are the steps.
Step 1: Select the aisle and window seats in the same row, ideally on a flight that is not as important. Since people rarely choose the middle seats, if all goes well you SHOULD have a whole row to yourself.
Step 2: Wait until the first class meal service ends and the cabin lights turn off. Look at the lights at the FRONT of the plane; when they also go out, that’s your signal.
Step 3: Snuggle up under a blanket from your carry-on bag. The blanket covers you when you touch her with your fingers or when she gives you a handjob.
Step 4: The seats are so narrow you wouldn’t believe the ridiculous positions people sleep in. So the best position is probably your partner on top or a reverse cowgirl. They can even spoon and act like they’re both sleeping.
Step 5 – Do it under the blanket. But remember, shut up, there are people sleeping or watching movies next to you!
And the scariest thing is that these people without sex, have phones and do not want to end up on the Internet.
Read this article for more inspiration. There are many places to have sex that you can put on your wish list.
There are also many other ways to make sex more exciting.
Read this ebook.
And your sex life will not be the same after reading it…
… and apply it in your life, of course.
Because if you don’t, you won’t get anywhere.