As we already know, there is no person, nor the perfect couple, we all have flaws and virtues, but for a relationship or marriage to work, the key is to accept our partner as they are, also as a couple it is very important to reach agreements for the relationship to be successful.
Although the couple’s relationship is a matter of two, there are many people around who influence it, especially family and friends, the ideal is that when you know your partner’s environment you get along perfectly with everyone, but it does not always happen, Why are we going to fool ourselves, but if we talk about your partner’s friends, what happens when you don’t get along with them or you don’t like them? When you think they are not the best friends you could have, how do you tell them? your partner or how they can deal with it?
It is too common that when people are starting a relationship, they do everything to be happy and please their partner, they are able to live with their friends, even if they do not like them at all, or think that they are not a good influence on their relationship. or their partner, they do all this in order to be accepted, reality shows that things that are forced never go well.
We must be aware that our partner has the right to have friends, that is very valid and acceptable to a certain extent, but that does not mean that you always have to live with them, for example it is good that you make an effort and accompany them to some important meeting , but until then, since spending more time with someone we don’t like or don’t like, can bring conflicts that will end up damaging the relationship, so it is better to prevent this type of situation so that the relationship works well.
Should I tell my partner that I don’t like his friends? How do I deal with this situation?
The best way to solve any conflict as a couple is communication, you can talk to your partner and tell him what is happening, tell him how you feel when he meets with this or that friend, here it is important to put the conflict in one, no in the other, never say: “Juan is an unpleasant person and that’s why I don’t want to be with him”, what if you can say, with a loving tone, is that you are not compatible with that person, put the topic in one, preserve others, because perhaps their flaws only bother you and the others may even find them funny.
It is not that you are asking him to choose between you and his friends, nor is it about separating him from his friends, but finding a balance between everyone’s needs, working on acceptance and tolerance and reaching agreements, but if you know that the friend of your partner does inappropriate things or that endangers your relationship, of course you should intervene, for example, there are those who want to take him from party to party, those who fall at home and stay all day, those who get drunk and also those who depend on your partner for everything.
Now, if you don’t like him because of his way of speaking or another characteristic of his personality, you can raise it with your partner on good terms, arguing that you don’t feel comfortable in his presence and if the other enables you, you give him the reasons, but always from your point of view, without putting the other between a rock and a hard place, that’s the worst thing we can do, the popular phrase “your friends or me” doesn’t work, because the forbidden always ends up generating attraction, besides, who are you you to prohibit something to someone?, true love is shown in freedom and in a harmonious coexistence.
In order not to generate problems in your relationship, it is recommended to:
– Try to share the bare minimum with your partner’s friend that you don’t like, that is, if you have to go to the birthday party, try to put on your best face and, if possible, look for other people to hang out with, as if to avoid a direct friction and then you enable your partner to have their own spaces with that person they love so much, as long as they do not exaggerate in terms of the time they spend with them, there must be a balance in the time they spend with you and friends .
– Reach a consensus with your partner, respecting the individual spaces of each one, this will help you not to share more time with someone that you do not like very much.
– Never allow your partner’s friends to cause friction within the relationship, respect and you will be respected, and you will prevent others from ending up sowing discord in your relationship.
-Never criticize your friends, one thing is that you tell your partner that you don’t like their friends and another thing is that you criticize them or speak ill of them, avoid putting your partner in a similar commitment and if you want to vent, do it, but not with your partner.
-Add friends instead of subtracting, for a healthier relationship we should forget about that idea of exclusive or excluding love, love is inclusive, love adds up and your partner has been joined by all those friends that you can’t stand, but that your partner make you happy.
-Don’t try to distance him from his friends, they are his friends and, even if you don’t like them, your partner does, it is a part of his life in which you cannot interfere because of a matter of respect in the couple and also of independence.
Finally, if your partner’s friends don’t like you, they should talk about it and reach agreements, because remember that just like you, they are also important to your partner, and perhaps they came into their life long before you, so don’t try Keep them away, better try to make peace with them, and maybe, why not, one day you’ll like them.