Curiosity is the engine of growth and knowledge, it moves us to venture into the middle, to understand, to understand how and why things happen in such or such a way. The human being is active and looks for answers in the surrounding world. He also intervenes when establishing contact with other people and especially when it comes to affective relationships. Hasn’t it happened to you when you just met someone and you like him, that you want to know everything about him: what he thinks, what he does, his projects, his family, his work? This curiosity can also lead to something more harmful, when a certain limit is exceeded and the intrusion into the private space of the other person is entered. This has always existed: spying on the other person, knowing who they see, what they are talking about.
The only drawback is that with the advancement of technology and the explosion of social networks, that is just a click away. Today, spying on someone through networks is monstrously possible, at levels that we would never have imagined.
There’s even a term for it: stalking.
New word, an old habit
Stalking is a word more and more heard. It derives from English, from the verb “to stalk”, which is equivalent to “harass”, “spy” or “pursue”, adapting it to our language. It is used almost exclusively in the technological environment, specifically in social networks and describes the action of harassing a person online through social networks such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.
This behavior involves looking at the person’s profile, observing and analyzing their posts and photos, and sometimes it can go from being a simple hobby or curiosity of little importance, to becoming an obsession.
This behavior can come after the classic questions: “Who were you chatting with?”, “Why is your ex your friend on Facebook? what do you post? or be an independent behavior and well hidden. Obviously, an “innocent” curiosity (“I want to know what he’s up to”) is not the same as an obsessive concern that ends in the creation of false profiles and threatening or insulting messages.
The dangers
The reasons for stalking your partner or ex-partner can be very varied: you feel that he is not telling you the truth or that he is flirting with someone else, you are looking for evidence of his deception, you want to know everything he does, among others.
No one is safe from the influence of social networks in the couple’s relationship and experts speak of symptoms of maladjustment, conflicts and even fractures in couples “thank you” Insecurity and jealousy are the perfect justification for stalking the couple, but actually it represents a serious problem.
Nothing in this world is done without consequences: a reaction always follows an action, so if you stalk your partner, you expose yourself to certain things.
You can fall into dangerous misunderstandings: if you do not understand the codes and ways of communicating with your friends or co-workers, it is most likely that you will find a wrong explanation for some things. That will make you worry or jealous about things that may never have happened. Surely you want him to respect your privacy, so the logical thing would be for you to do the same. The idea of a couple is not that they become a single being, but that each one has their space and privacy without the obligation to share it with the other. If he discovers that you are stalking him, there will surely be a strong argument or, why not, a breakup. Trust is the foundation of the couple. If you don’t trust e, it means that something is not working as it should be. It is not healthy that you live distrusting what he says, what he does, Where are you going or who are you with? These urges to control everything usually cause more damage than solutions. Stalking your partner will feed your jealousy, so that if it exists, it will amplify it until it becomes a certainty. And if you’re not jealous, but start with controlling behaviors, you’ll probably end up being. The stalking in the love conquest feeds a lot to the imagination and what we think about the other person’s life. Our attractions and rejections, myths and prejudices, are fed by what we observe in the networks. Imagination can be a great poison if it is not accompanied by a rational view of what is happening. If you broke up with someone but keep stalking them, you may have a very long and troublesome breakup process. The espionage you do is a way to prolong your relationship and the energy you put into it will prevent you from healing your wounds and starting something new. It can even lead to very negative feelings, such as comparison (why did I have such a bad time with this breakup and he is so fine? Why is he with her and not me? What does she have that I don’t have?). Many times what we see on social networks shows that the reaction of the other to the separation does not show the expected signs of anguish: in fact, it leads one to think that she “is having a better time than me”. This can lead to devaluation and profound damage to self-esteem. To do like the comparison (why did I have such a bad time with this breakup and he is so well? Why is he with her and not me? What does she have that I don’t have?). Many times what we see on social networks shows that the reaction of the other to the separation does not show the expected signs of anguish: in fact, it leads one to think that “he is having a better time than me”. This can lead to devaluation and profound damage to self-esteem. To do like the comparison (why did I have such a bad time with this breakup and he is so well? Why is he with her and not me? What does she have that I don’t have?). Many times what we see on social networks shows that the reaction of the other to the separation does not show the expected signs of anguish: in fact, it leads one to think that “he is having a better time than me”. This can lead to devaluation and profound damage to self-esteem. To do
The internet and social networks can be a great tool to improve our lives and our relationships or become a threat, making it impossible to establish healthy and harmonious relationships.
These are some aspects that must be taken into account to avoid conflicts.
– Agreements must be reached about social networks, how to use them, clearly establish what bothers and what does not bother each of the members of the couple. This involves establishing what will be done when they are together. -Preferring communication through social networks, even talking about private topics on the respective walls, is not a sign of a healthy and mature relationship. Have you noticed that many couples who say they love each other on social networks are very cold face to face? In these cases, there is a very significant coldness in the closeness with the partner, so it is easier to say what it feels like on the screen than in person, a fact that increases the problem.
We can therefore consider that new technologies can damage relationships, but only if you allow it. True relationships are not built through a screen, but in the face.
