I thought casting love spells would bring me a man . Instead, it taught me an important lesson.

I made eye contact with my reflection in the sparkling rose quartz mirror that sat on top of my phone. I needed to concentrate. The pink candle beside me flickered back and forth, distracting me from my goal.

I shook my head and went back to the quartz, beginning the chant I memorized from my spellbook:

Crystal power, reach out to Mario and tickle his ear. Give him this message. Call me. Call me. Call me in five minutes.

Repeat the mantra in a whisper:

Call me. Call me. Call me in five minutes. Call me. Call me. Call me in five minutes.

After silently concentrating on the quartz for a few minutes, I spoke the last sentence:

Breast milk.

Then I turned around and let the candle burn out while I read a book on the sofa.

This was not the first time I had mystically tried to get in touch with Mario, my high school sweetheart, nor was he the first (nor the last) to fall prey to my attempted love spells.

Engrave names on candles with the wish of a date hidden underneath; Burn shells full of spices and herbs to attract my soulmate; I even slept with a charm on my pillow, written in essential oil on parchment paper, trying to get someone to dream of me…

I probably would have written it in blood if I wasn’t afraid of sticking myself with a needle. After being obsessed with boys, she was obsessed with love spells.

I have to give you some bad news: none of them worked. Well, not that I know of, at least. I tried to cast a love spell on a friend of mine, who ended up being a part of me maybe six years later, but it never got beyond mutual attraction and recognition.

Related Article: Love Spells Work

Maybe I didn’t put enough energy into the magic.

Over the years of my pagan existence, I have amassed a small library of spellbooks, all of them containing at least a few love spells that I tried out immediately.

Now that I am happily married and don’t “need” love spells, I like to go through my books and read them.

I’m not entirely sure why I was drawn to heart spells in my younger years. Maybe I lacked the confidence to go out and ask guys on dates. However, what I surely did not think is that it was worthy of the affection of my subjects.

There was no way they wanted me just for me, so I decided to try to win them over in a mysterious way. I guess somehow, it boosted my confidence.

I felt like I was doing something, making an effort. I felt that working magic on people made me a complicated woman and that would make me more attractive. I felt strengthened.

But in hindsight, I think I looked pretty silly. If someone had entered the house while I was in the middle of a ritual, I would have been mortified. And the ethical implications of those spells sometimes replay in my brain these days.

Was I robbing someone of their free will by trying to make them fall in love with me?

And if I did, how would I feel?

It would probably be skeptical and accusatory to assume that they really didn’t love me; it was just a side effect of a fucking spell that would one day wear off.

Friends, I hope my story helps you and if you like someone, go for him. Ask her.

Related Article: How to make a man fall in love, 7 essential keys

Spells can be fun and interesting, but do you always want to know your partner’s feelings for you? Probably not…

I never heard from Mario again. I found him on Facebook a few years ago and saw that he moved out of town, got married and had children.

He never accepted my friend request.

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