I want you to go have a beer with your friends, so that the next day you have a hangover and ask me to come see you because you want to hold me in your arms and cuddle up. I want us to talk in bed in the morning about all kinds of things, but sometimes in the afternoon; I want everyone to do what they want during the day. I want you to tell me about the nights you go out with your friends. Tell me there was a girl at the bar who made eyes at you. I want you to text me when you’re drunk with your friends so you can tell me shit, just so you can be sure that I’m thinking of you too.
I want us to laugh while we make love. That we start laughing because we are trying new things and they don’t make sense. I want us to be with our friends, so that you take me by the hand and take me to another room because you can’t stand it anymore and you want to make love to me right there. I want to try to stay quiet because there are people and they can hear us.
I want to eat with you, that you make me talk about myself and that you talk about yourself. I want us to discuss which is better, the north coast or the south coast, the western neighborhood or the eastern one. I want to imagine the apartment of our dreams, even knowing that we will probably never live together. I want you to tell me your plans, those that have no head or tail. I want to surprise myself by saying: “Take your passport, we’re leaving.” I want to be scared with you. Do things I wouldn’t do with anyone else, because with you I feel safe. Coming home very drunk after a good night out with friends. For you to hold my face, kiss me, use me as your cushion and hold me very tight at night.
I want you to have your life, so that you decide to go on a trip for a few weeks on a whim. For you to leave me here, alone and bored, wishing that your little face would appear on Facebook saying “hello”.
I don’t want you to always invite me to your parties, and I don’t want to always invite you to mine. So, the next day I can tell you how the night was and you can tell me yours. I want something that is simple and, at the same time, complicated. Something that makes me often ask myself questions, but the moment I’m in the same room with you, all doubts disappear. I want you to think I’m pretty, to be proud to say that we’re together.
I want you to tell me I love you and, above all, to be able to tell you. I want you to let me walk ahead of you so you can see how my ass moves from side to side. For you to let me scratch my car windows in the winter because my ass wiggles and it makes you smile.
I want to make plans without knowing if in the end we will carry them out. Being in a clear relationship. I want to be that friend you love to hang out with. I want you to continue to have the desire to fool around with other girls but to look for me to end the night together. Because I want to go home with you. I want to be the one you make love to and then fall asleep. The one that she leaves you alone when you’re working and the one that loves when you get lost in your world of music. I want to have a single life with you. Because our life as a couple would be the same as our single lives now, but together.
One day, I will find you.