No one likes to be the second course. Nobody likes to be the second, the “reserve”, however, it happens more often than you imagine. We all deserve to be the first and not a simple option more or less like a lifesaver. In fact, one of the things we should do from the start is to make it very clear that we will never be anyone’s second course. We deserve less than that.

1. THE PROBLEM WAS MINE, NOT YOURS
Normally, when this happens to you, the first thing you think is that the problem is yours. That something is wrong with you. You wonder why nothing you do is enough and that you could have done everything in a different way to become the first choice of that man who drives you crazy.

The truth is that you have to stop. It is very exhausting, it burns you. You cannot afford to question yourself so much, if you do you are becoming your own worst enemy. The problem is him, who doesn’t know what he wants and you know you deserve more, act accordingly.

2. THE LOVE YOU DESERVE
If you assume that you are the problem, it doesn’t cost you much to end up accepting that those crumbs you receive are the ones you deserve. There is nothing more toxic than that, you have become very dependent. The reality is quite another, you want love and he doesn’t. Realize that the thing will end here… you will probably never go to the next level.

3. JEALOUSY OF EVERYTHING
Constantly being jealous on the surface is a huge burden, there comes a time when you have to stand up and say “so far” or you end up going crazy.

Over time you will see that you get jealous over the stupidest things, things that don’t even have anything to do with you or your relationship. You will see that what worries you is not feeling validated by the person you are with. Living like this is horrible.

4. SOMETIMES YOU NEED SOMETHING MORE
Some men make it clear from the beginning that they don’t want anything serious with you, that they don’t want to commit, nor do they want a long-term relationship.

If you have continued with them, accepting the rules of the game, even when I did want something more. You should also stop doing that.

It is very simple, it is a small step, but it is an important change.

5. YOU CAN’T WAIT TO LIVE YOUR LIFE Do
you usually wait for that man to call you to see each other or to go out there, and that led you to spend many nights alone? Eventually you will realize that doing that is crazy. A real nonsense. Don’t be that woman anymore. If someone calls you at the last minute and you’re free, fine. But don’t sit and wait for them to call you. There are many things to do and many people to meet.

6. SAFETY FIRST
In a healthy relationship many factors intervene. Trust and honesty have always been important factors. You can’t sit around thinking what that person is doing, in fact, you shouldn’t.

You don’t need to know what he’s doing at all times, but if a man you’re dating makes me insecure, I don’t think it’s worth it.

7. IT IS NOT AN INSTANT CHANGE
If you think that once you discover the problem, you will never fall again. Did you know? You are very wrong. You will screw up many times after realizing it, however, it will be much easier for you to take a step back before your heart is broken.

Things don’t go as planned almost never. But in life you have to learn, you have no choice. Each misstep, each new “relapse” is an experience that you can accumulate. Then you just have to take stock of those mistakes and not make them again.

8. BECOME STRONG
Once you became your main priority, you will have confidence to avoid men who only wanted to use you or for whom you were a second course. You can stand up to them, say “up to here” and cut to the chase.

You will surround yourself with people who want to be with you always and who like the same things as you, who want to be part of your life and the things in your life.

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