Most of us have been educated to live pleasing others and we believe that pleasing others is one of the most important things, which is not true, because each one must live their life according to their convictions, their values, their feelings, etc., as long as they do not harm others and being responsible for all the decisions we make. ​This attitude of wanting to be accommodating to everyone has to do with the fact that, deep down, we are afraid of rejection, of being abandoned, of being stopped from loving us or that definitely, nobody wants to spend time with us. When you live for others, the effort is too much for your mind and your body, there comes a time when you no longer have room for anything, much less for yourself and your needs.
Freedom means going through life doing what you want, but there is a greater freedom: NOT doing what you don’t want. When you are unable to refuse to do something, you chain yourself to the wishes of others, regardless of whether it is your partner, your children, your boss or your parents. Learning to say no is necessary to free yourself from situations in which we do not want to be, much less when the goal is just to make someone like us, because it makes no sense and you do not receive anything in return, nor is there reciprocity between what you do for others. others and what they give you in return. Pleasing others does not make you a better person, it will not leave you anything significant in your life, but in the end it becomes a very heavy burden, you wear yourself out physically and emotionally and the people whom, according to you, you are helping , every time expects more from you. You must be clear that the best thing you can do for yourself is to live your life as you decide, doing the things you like, working on what you want, helping out of kindness, not out of commitment. Many times that means staying at home doing what you like or going out with few people and stop believing that everyone is your friend and you need to accept all the invitations in order not to look bad.
Living pleasing others brings you closer to becoming an automaton, you stop thinking about what you are doing and sacrifice your time, your money, your things, to fulfill what others expect of you. You end up doing what others want because you consider them more intelligent, or that they know what is best for you better than you. Maybe there are people smarter than you, but that doesn’t mean your life should be based on other people’s decisions. A day will come when you will realize that you have done everything you can, that, as much as people expect more from you, you can no longer, it is time to put a stop to them. It is tiring to live trying to be liked by everyone, trying to please others for fear of not being accepted as you are. From the bottom of your heart, reflect and think about yourself, your priorities, your needs and dedicate yourself; if later you have time, win and want to help, do it. If not, nothing happens.
When you try to sympathize with everyone, you make many mistakes, and the more you give up part of yourself, the less others value you. You believe that you are helping them and that this makes you a better person, but the reality is that others do not imagine all the effort you make nor do they know how to be grateful to you. The saddest thing is that for wanting to please others, you humiliate yourself, you get tired, you feel hurt, disappointed and finally, you feel disrespected and without any authority. Therefore, you must understand that not everyone is going to like you, that no one can be good with everyone all the time, you simply have to act according to your values ​​and principles and whoever wants to be with you will love you without conditions. All of the above does not mean that you do not care what others think of you, or that you become a selfish person, because selfishness means hurting others, which a person who lives thinking of himself before others does not do. It is simply about making the decisions that are best for you, doing what brings you happiness and as long as you live in such a way that you do not hurt or harm anyone else, no decision is negative. When you begin to change and think of yourself first, you will realize that there will be people who will get angry with you, who will tell you that you have become selfish and mean, that you used to help a lot and now you don’t care about anyone anymore; This is not your problem, it is because they had deposited their shortcomings in you and you have disappointed them because they expected you to spend the rest of your life doing what they need. Don’t let people’s attitude change your personal essence, who loves you will accept you as you are and will understand that you are in a process. True friends are in spite of everything. If they need you, they will tell you and when you need them, they will come. There are always people willing to help. And you always need to be aware that the most important thing in your life is you.
