When we find ourselves in a flourishing relationship, we love to shout our love everywhere, to make it known who owns or owns our heart. However, when the love relationship has to put an end to it, we seek to get rid of everything that can bring us memories of that person. It may not be the most correct, but what often occurs to us is to delete all the photos that are on social networks related to our ex-love, in order to act as if nothing had happened.
Even some celebrities decide to apply this type of measure, but say the couple of Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris or Fernando Alonso and Lara Alvarez, who quickly sent to the trash any memory and trace that has remained of their relationship.
Why do we delete the photos of the former couple?
We are a generation where we mistakenly believe that by doing this kind of thing, we would erase from our minds part of those memories that hurt us. According to an essay published by The Cut, the intimacies that we store on our device or on networks are the representation of our obsessions or our desires. On the other hand, the fact of knowing that we can have it or eliminate it whenever we want reassures us, convincing ourselves that sentimental memory works that way even if it doesn’t.
fundamentals in favor
For Cristina Lago, coach and author of the Locos de amor blog, it is advisable to first delete everything that can bring us painful memories and prevent us from recovering: “Many people experience feelings of relief and liberation when deleting the photos.” He explained what a client of his had said after performing that practice, “I feel as if I finally take control of my life again.” Cristina considers that clinging to what has happened before is not ideal, “Taking this resolution entails an attitude of looking to the future and giving up clinging to the past. Another person told me that deleting the photos is like a farewell ritual, it has a symbolic value and people do it when they are ready to say goodbye.
There are also fundamentals that go against it, such is the explanation given by Remedios Gomis, love coach and author of All you need is love. “In the face of a relationship breakdown, it is very necessary to normalize our lives, therefore, it is not necessary to develop destructive behaviors.
If we erase those memories we can find that our mind plays tricks on us and we build images that do not fit the facts, life, circumstances or reasons for rupture. On the other hand, maintaining that relationship as something finalized, which existed at some point, will make us relive the rupture, the separation, and that will facilitate recovery”. Gomis also added the following: “Remembering the facts and circumstances of the breakup, things that really happened may come to mind, this will allow us to bring the other person into the relationship.”
Gomis explained in another point, that breaking up is a life process in which lessons are learned, which will serve to avoid making the same mistakes in another relationship that we face. “We should not consider the break as a failure but as a learning, therefore, the photos that were taken in them are part of our life.”
Both positions mentioned above can be defended, since each one decides to opt for what they think is best, either to preserve or to make the trace of what love once was disappear.
Is it convenient to make the photos of your exes disappear from the networks?
In 2013, a study revealed that 40% of people stopped being friends with their exes or following them on social networks. While 34% chose to delete all the images with their former partner, from these networks.
The ideal in these cases is to first wait for the mind to cool down. Recovery time can be 18 months or more, depending on the intensity of the relationship, relationship therapist Kashish Chhabria told the Times of India newspaper .
So don’t rush into making such a decision when you’ve ended a relationship, the first thing to do is make sure the resentment is completely gone and that’s where you can decide what to do with your life.
What to do with the photos in case of rupture?
Suddenly, it is advisable to try not to go to the extreme of deleting the photos from the networks, since it may be that in that attempt to “format” your memory you are eliminating beautiful memories, such as some beautiful place where you have gone with her and that you will hardly visit it again.
In the same way, the decision you make is valid if you will not regret what you have done, but what you should keep in mind is to let your mind cool down, wait for the pain to pass and then see which way to go.
Never allow a breakup to make you lose your mind, try to always be aware of the beautiful moments you have lived, that if there are photos worth saving, keep them until the moment that is necessary. An anger or sadness cannot force you to erase part of your life.