A balanced relationship is one that we can live without haste, but without pauses. Sudden and accelerated relationships often give clues that something is not very right. You may think you have found the ideal man. Well, in the course of your past idylls you have found yourself in a kind of trial and error, rejections and mistakes. You think then that you should not let this present romance die out. It is time for you to stop along the way and analyze if it is really like that or if what you have is a tremendous fear of being alone. Recognizing the difference between a relationship that will be lasting and one that is fleeting will be your challenge. It is likely that in both cases you feel the same sigh in the soul and the same tingling inside. You think then that it is indicated for the father of your children. But will it really be like that or are you just infatuated with him? Let’s see the differences that will help you identify if he is the one.
It’s all about him:
When the relationship is based on that conviction that it has to turn out no matter what, when it becomes more of a whim, it usually happens that your world begins to revolve around it. You try in any way to always give him the pleasure, to pamper him. It’s not about you anymore, it’s about him. It is his taste, his concerns, his time, his moments, his space, they go where he wants to go, they do what he wants to do, your circle of friends closes around his. Then ask yourself if this is really what you want for your life. Think that you will be postponing yourself forever and that you will be relegated. However, when you are in love and it is reciprocal, it is not about him but about “us”. The relationship is built in pairs from the beginning and a little every day. You have the certainty that you can be well with your partner and when not, There is no strange obsession to be with him. It is normal to feel a little jealous, but from there to becoming depressed or extremely upset, because he does not answer your call on his mobile or does not respond to WhatsApp shortly, there is a great distance.
The projection of the ideal or the image of clay It is true, idealizing the person who is with you is a constant temptation. It’s not always that image you project on him. When the partner is idealized, virtues are attributed to him that he does not have, that perhaps do not even fit with his personality, but the level of caprice that you feel makes you not be able to notice it. To sustain your relationship you desperately need him to be that character you so much want him to be. Be careful, when you want to realize, the disappointment can be very big. Well, you have deposited in him the attributes of the man of your dreams for trying to keep your relationship alive over time, but you need to know that there is no man made of clay that does not fall apart with the first tornado. You love a reflection of your greatest desire, you don’t love the person who is by your side. That’s called whimsy. In love, the virtues of the couple are exalted. In the whim you attribute the virtues that it does not have or such, that is enough to satisfy our need for it to be the dreamed ideal.
Love is blind?
Infatuation, not infatuation, is totally blind. She closes her mind to the point of seeing what is desired and in order to hold that image. Perhaps you are missing important negative aspects in your relationship such as cultural differences, disparate values, different religious concepts. You are ignoring the reality that is in front of your eyes, they are the main indicators that your relationship is in danger. In love, however, you will be able to perceive the differences of the other person, their goodness and mistakes, but you will learn to love them anyway. That’s what love is about.
The effect of a temporary separation
In a state of whim, if for whatever reason the couple finds it necessary to separate for some time, it is most likely that they will not support that separation. However, in a relationship where true love is present, it supports everything, not only a temporary separation, but any circumstance of suffering. It seems that love can and supports everything. Love is strengthened in extreme situations, caprice vanishes.
So when in doubt, wait
If you have doubts about what you feel or how you feel in your relationship, it is preferable that you take a deep breath and take your time to reflect if you are really on the right track. Never ever believe that getting married will dispel your doubts. That never happens. The only thing you will achieve will be to aggravate the problems, exacerbate the crack of differences and time will not heal everything, because there is no love, on the contrary, it will generate feelings of anguish and resentment. Nothing like taking the time to clear your mind and heart. Now, it’s up to you to ask yourself the question: Are you in love or infatuated?
