There are many situations for which a woman can live alone. The first is due to her personal choice, putting her life and her personal achievements before the option of sharing as a couple or simply because she considers it the most appropriate for her. In these cases, being a decision made consciously and rationally, the resulting conflicts are not major and are limited to the complications of the fact.
But another is the situation when it is not given by an election, but by an event in which the woman did not participate: the end of a relationship or that the couple to share life has not been achieved, are two of them, in addition to the death of the spouse.
In these cases, when the situation is not sought, situations can arise that emotionally affect the woman.
Distinction
Whatever the reason why a woman lives without anyone by her side, there is a lot of difference between being alone and feeling alone. Perhaps you have heard someone say “she could not live without So-and-so”. In reality, this phrase says much more than what it says: it also means “I couldn’t live with myself” and this is what is worrying about these words. You will meet many people who live alone, but who have a kind of compulsion to surround themselves with people at all times, as if they were afraid of staying for a minute without anyone by their side. It is in these moments that a true panic of loneliness is revealed.
It is not easy to live alone and it can have hard times, especially at the beginning, but it can be a special opportunity to get to know yourself and develop as a person.
These are some strategies that will help you to face those moments.
1. Get used to it little by little. In the early days it will cause you discomfort, you will want to talk to someone on the phone, go to the supermarket just to see people. Make a gradual plan, start with half an hour of being alone. Practice an activity that amuses you: write, read, study, paint or draw. Increase those moments of being with you to 45 minutes and then to an hour: progressively you will see that you will not consider them moments of terror, but that you will take advantage of them and enjoy them. At some point you will see that you were able to be alone on a Saturday, Sunday or Friday night, without it being a torment: you will have been alone, but not lonely because you learned to enjoy your own company.
2. Fix your hair, put on the color you wanted so much but had avoided because he might not like it. This is one of the advantages of being alone: ​​you do not have to answer to anyone.
3. In the early days it is normal for you to feel moody and sitting around doing nothing can make this feeling worse. Continue with your activities and if possible, take the opportunity to start one that is of your special interest. And if you can take the opportunity to take a trip, do it: it will help you to see things from a different perspective.
4. When you are alone, do not stop going to dinner, to the movies or for a walk. Remember: nothing is restricted, you are only accountable to yourself. Don’t use “I’m alone” as an excuse for not going out, rather you should say “I’m going out because I’m alone”.
5. A pet can alleviate loneliness, since they fill our natural need to touch something, have company and manage stress. It also forces you to have a responsibility and if it is a dog, it will help you to have physical activity when walking it. Of course, consider your lifestyle when choosing your companion: if you’re away from home all day, a dog may not be the best option: a cat or an iguana may be a better choice.
6. Get up and dress well every day, even if you don’t plan to go anywhere in particular. Even minimal effort can make a difference in combating loneliness. Although it can be attractive to stay in pajamas all day and this becomes repetitive, it can eventually lead to isolation.
7. If you decide to live alone, you must learn to handle yourself without depending on anyone. Buying the food made every day is uneconomical and there are great chances that it is not healthy, so you must learn to cook. The same with small illnesses: always have a first-aid kit ready for emergencies.
8. Make a routine that allows you to organize yourself. For example, program days and hours to perform cleaning. It’s easy to let things slide when you live alone, either because no one will see your clutter or because you don’t have a partner to split the chores with. However, a messy and untidy place can be harmful to your health and cause damage, which can be expensive to repair in the long run. The disorder also affects mental well-being: it is a source of stress and can accentuate the effects of depression and sadness and is even linked to weight gain. Maintaining cleanliness will help you be happy.
9. Make the place where you live reflect your personality. Paint the walls or doors your favorite color and hang photos that make you feel comfortable.
Organize yourself to do small things in the week so they don’t accumulate.
Living alone, some days are great, but others not so much… and this is the same as when you live as a couple. Take advantage of this moment of your life, give yourself space and time to find out what makes you a unique person and develop your potential. Be a little selfish, think of yourself, cultivate your autonomy, think of yourself here and now, but also of your future projects, make a plan to achieve them, since you are totally free to achieve them. Although loneliness can lead to depression or stress, not everything is negative, it also has its advantages and it is up to you to choose one path or another. When you’re in a relationship again, you’ll have a better chance of a positive one, since you’ll be happy with yourself and know exactly what to offer and what to expect.
