Being a mother is a complicated experience and much more so when the most important person in your life is not present, your mother. Losing the person who gave you life is a heartbreaking experience, but the sadness increases when you have children and they will not have the opportunity to have a maternal grandmother. Next, I will leave you a beautiful letter dedicated to those grandmothers who are not with their grandchildren in a physical way, but in a completely spiritual way. “Although my children never knew you, I want to tell you, mom, that you are still their grandmother. And although today you may be in heaven, I assure you that they will know you. You never got a chance to hold their tiny bodies at birth, or tell me how to bathe or change them for the first time. You missed his first porridge, the walks in the park, his first steps and falls. And my calls at night for not knowing what to do with the fever and the blows to the head.
You never gave them kisses on their tummy that thundered, as you did to me and my brothers when we were little, nor did you smell their feet before bathing them to tell them “fuchila” with your mischievous voice. You never heard his first words, his shouts of emotion to see you and tell you “tita”, “nana”, “mama” or some special granny nickname that would make you feel proud and melt your heart every time you heard it. They missed your delicious meals, your desserts and the Christmas turkey. We missed our first Christmas together, and even though you’re always with us, I would have liked one last family photo. We will never be able to do many of the things that I had in mind when I imagined my life as a mom, I never thought of losing you before doing it, that is why today I want you to know that, although you are no longer here, I will make sure that they know the great woman you were and everything you taught us, so that they will carry you in their hearts. I want them to know what your favorite food was, your songs that made you dance around the room, what made you angry and your star dish. I will tell them about your contagious laugh and the things that always made you laugh. May you be more than a photo in the living room or in the family album, more than a tableware or your collection of spoons.
I want to tell you about your super-power of always recognizing what happened to us just by listening to our voice. I remember when she called you after crying and just by saying “mama” you already knew she was sad. I hope I inherited that from you because they were the things that made me feel safer by your side. I will always tell them that you gave the best hugs. Not because you were pachoncita, but because they perfectly covered my body. I know that my children would have fallen asleep instantly with you, with your arms full of love. I will show them the stars and tell them that you are one of them, that you take care of us from heaven, so that every night they speak to you and find security in you, as if you were our guardian angel.
Losing a mother takes away a part of our lives, but when the children arrive we begin to understand the meaning of everything. Life is filled with hope and we learn that many times things happen to teach us lessons, the goal is to convey to children that, even if their grandmother is not here, she will always be part of their life. Giving them the childhood that your mother gave you is the best way to honor her life, and keep it in your heart as in your children’s, because whoever leaves does not die, only those who forget die. And a mother like a grandmother is impossible to forget, she is grateful for everything she taught you and lives as happily as she would have wanted, she fights every day so that her essence does not disappear. Look at the sky and thank God for that mother who taught you so much and made you happy, never forget her because she will always be present.
