Relationships are complex, when two people who decide to embark on the journey of life together each bring a backpack loaded with traumas, tastes, manias, beliefs and obviously past relationships.
The love history with which each one arrives is different, because not all of us react in the same way to a breakup, and each one had a special cause that has led to that relationship ending.
Exes don’t all have the same importance in our lives as well as in the life of our partner. But if the interest that your partner shows for his ex seems strange to you and even a little exaggerated, your partner may still be hooked, then you will have to start considering if that relationship compensates you or not, it is time for evaluations and put the pros and cons in the balance. We often hear our friends advising us not to date someone who has just ended a relationship. It’s actually good advice, because no one wants to live in someone else’s shadow. It is not only difficult for you, it is also difficult for the person who has just finished, because he must continue with his life and for that, forget about his ex.
It is easy to say but as many times in life it is difficult to do it. Sometimes we are already so involved that we do not know how to escape from that situation and we end up involved with a person who has just left an important relationship, we bite the bullet and continue because we have faith and believe that everything will be fine.
And of course, sometimes everything goes well, but other times, things don’t go as expected, and yes… he/she continues to think about his/her ex-partner
Their old courtship is already old history, and that third person for A or B reason was left behind, then they would not have to be physically or mentally present all the time in the current relationship bringing them problems, no relationship can flourish with such a ghost between the sheets.
You have to know how to differentiate if these problems are due to the fact that he/she is still in love, or is that he/she cannot forget you, although he/she loves you and you are special to him/her, the other person is still important to him/her regardless of you, or if It is a matter of your jealousy, of an insecurity that has more to do with you than the other. If the breakup was friendly (something very rare but it can happen) or if they simply realized that they were better as friends than as a couple and decided to break up because of that, you cannot expect them to erase it forever from their minds, because common interests follow, so it will continue to appear from time to time in one or another passing comment.
Remembering her when talking about a previous trip, or mentioning her in some everyday conversation are not of great importance because, since it is a page in her book of life.
But how do we know if there are things that we cannot consider “unimportant” and that already go beyond the limits of what is considered normal and is indicating something else.
Today we leave you a list of obvious signs, and not so obvious, that you have not forgotten your ex and still love her.
If you still have your photos, you should not worry because it is normal to a certain extent. It is part of your story.
Photos can be memories of trips, birthdays and special moments. Now the problem is:
1- If they have it hidden or secret, why should they hide something from you if it is already a stage overcome and in theory there is no other background? 2- If they are as a wallpaper or save it on the computer with the name of that person instead of putting “holidays” or “birthdays” on the album.
An exit between your partner and his ex should not be part of the agenda, which is arranged more for a meeting with much less. Unless they have children or for some labor issue, they can be considered punctual meetings. Or even a meeting for the birthday and giving him a gift as a courtesy gesture could be considered correct, but it crosses the line and if it bothers you I would have to consider your feelings about it.
Things change when the outings become frequent, and he begins to dedicate more time to the ex than to you, if the gift he chooses to give him is like something very intimate, that you don’t even understand but for them it is like a code of his past history.
At present, social networks positively or negatively influence the relationship according to the information they provide you. That I still have her as a friend on facebook or follow her on instagram is not a bad thing because as we know we have many virtual friends with whom we have no contact, now if she writes messages on her wall, she constantly tags her in publications, full of likes to her instagram photos, or worse likes old photos, start worrying more than worrying. Talk and ask for explanations and remind him in a good way but firmly that you are with him now.
Casual encounters can arise, if they go to the movies or a nightclub they may run into the ex, look at their behavior, if they push you away or don’t introduce you, they get uncomfortable it’s for something. If it was a recent breakup and he quickly formed a relationship with you, he may feel bad because he does not respect the duel and out of respect for his ex, he may act like this. These are things that should be discussed so that misunderstandings do not arise.
The “former family” is also a highly discussed topic. When there are children involved, it is normal and healthy to maintain good relations with them or if the relationship lasted many years, that the affection lasts at the end of the relationship is logical. But, if you’re spending too much time with your ex’s family and trying hard to get along with them, something’s wrong. You cannot give yourself a full stop and turn the page if you insist on continuing to belong to the other family.
If she becomes a topic of conversation frequently, she insists on telling you anecdotes about her past relationship, either with compliments or complaints, she makes inappropriate comments comparing her to you, she is aware of everything she does with her life, with whom she goes out and leaves go out and ask her friends about her, be careful, she definitely hasn’t been able to let go of the past. If this is happening to you and you realize that your partner is still tied to the past, it does not mean that you are the one who is doing something wrong, it is simply that that person is not ready yet to turn the page, that is: do not allow their attitude undermines your self-esteem and personal security.
Although for some reason that relationship ended, the intensity with which they lived it needs time to give it a complete end. They should talk about the situation and see how far each one can go, he with the desire to let go and you with the patience to wait for him, with good intentions on both sides they can reach a mutually beneficial agreement either together or separately.
The most important thing is that you value yourself, you should not allow them to use you or love you halfway. You deserve unconditional love like the one you give too