Unfortunately, abuse is a phenomenon that occurs in interpersonal relationships, whether as a couple, family, among classmates at school “bullying” or at work “mobbing”.
Apart from physical abuse, another common form of abuse is psychological. This one is less visible than the first. The mental problems it causes are very serious, and despite being silent it is very devastating to the victim. Low self-esteem can be both a cause and a consequence of this phenomenon, in addition, the victim of abuse suffers from other serious problems such as stress, anxiety, depression and even addiction to certain substances.
Next, the traits that characterize an abuser.
1. They are intolerant
They are intolerant people who do not respect the opinions, attitudes or behavior of others. They are full of prejudice. If their will does not prevail in a situation, they react in an aggressive and impolite manner.
2. They are charming at first
At first they are usually charming people, they are not intolerant. They know how to behave, and their aggressive personality may take a while to show. He gains confidence and when he feels rooted, his true “I” comes out, his destructive personality.
3. They are authoritarian
They are authoritarian people, are characterized by anti-democratic traits. They love order but everything based on their personal criteria. They don’t care if it’s right or not, they always think they’re right and if you don’t obey them they unleash their anger.
4. They are psychologically rigid
These people have rigid thinking and pursue a single truth, which is theirs. They are not used to dialogue or seek consensus to reach an agreement, on the contrary, they are afraid of giving in to the opinions of others, because they believe that only they are right. Anything that doesn’t fit their idea is wrong. The only existing truth is yours.
5. They present dichotomous thinking
For them there is no middle ground, either everything is right or wrong. They go from one extreme to the other, and this generally happens because the abusers have grown up in families that have treated them that way, with that rigidity.
6. They are blackmailers
Their behavior is always related to their interests seeking to benefit. They blame and provoke fear in the victim to get what they want. They often make the other person feel guilty for things they haven’t even done or things they’ve done but aren’t necessarily wrong.
7. They do not do self-criticism
They are psychologically rigid people and believe that there is only one truth, which is theirs, they are not capable of receiving other criticism. They receive any criticism as an attack on their person and their way of interpreting reality, they do not consider the possibility that another opinion could be a constructive contribution.
Psychological abusers do not do self-criticism, they do not think they need it if they already consider they have the truth, unless some situation forces them to make a radical change in their way of seeing things.
8. Instead, they criticize
These people do not criticize themselves, instead they criticize others, but with great ease. They use the other person’s flaws to hurt them emotionally and even make up something negative to make the victim feel bad. It is not a constructive criticism, but an action aimed at damaging the other’s self-esteem, to enjoy her reaction or to subdue her.
9. They change moods in seconds
The mood in this type of person is quite unstable, they can go from a pleasant state to anger or rage in a matter of seconds. That to the change of personality that they can present when you meet them, who go from being nice and charming to aggressive and manipulative people.
10. They are easily offended
The sudden mood swings that these people present are due to their hypersensitivity, which makes them easily offended. If something contradicts your ideas, that is reason enough to feel offended and offended.
11. They disconnect the victim
In order to obtain the total submission of the victim, the abuser isolates her from her family and friends in order to have total control over her. The goal is for the victim to feel threatened and afraid to talk to other people.
12. They are cruel and insensitive
The abuser not only psychologically mistreats his partner, this type of behavior usually extends to his children who can even inflict physical damage, pets do not escape this. They are cruel and feel no mercy for anyone.
13. They have no regrets
They are not used to regret what they do, so it is very easy for them to be violent quite often. There is no room for guilt. It’s the kind of psychological profile to keep away, since there’s not even a chance they’ll think too much.
14. They make false promises
Since they are not people who repent, when something suits them they usually ask for forgiveness or make promises, all of them false. All the speech that “they are going to change” has no value, because at the minimum they act the same.
15. They are controlling
They have the need to feel superior and to control others. Although inside they are insecure people and they are afraid of being discovered, but control becomes their ally. This is the way to have everything under control, so that nothing escapes from your hands.
16. They have no emotional control
Despite wanting to control others, they have no emotional control over themselves. They cannot control themselves, that is why they behave impulsively, without reflecting on the damage they do or the consequences of these.
17. They don’t stop
As they are people who do not reflect on what they do, they do not stop for anything either, for them the end justifies the means. They are people with the ability to act stealthily even in public places, turning the life of the victim into a real ordeal.
18. They are seductive
They conquer the victim through their charms. They are persuasive people with a great capacity for seduction.
19. They are liars
They are experts in the art of lying, they are capable of creating a whole story based on chained lies. And they rarely tell the truth, their priority is to obtain benefits at the expense of others.
20. They play the victim
Justifying their actions by victimizing them, since that is a way of making the other person feel bad, dominating them through guilt. For example, they use phrases like “you don’t love me, because you are always more aware of your friends”. The actions of psychological damage are not necessarily direct, sometimes they are masked as false victimhood.
21. Low empathy
Manipulative people are not empathic. They do not recognize the emotions of others or connect with them. This is why he has the ability to make the victim suffer without having any kind of resentment for it.