“Learn to give your silence to those who do not ask for words and your absence to those who do not value your presence.” One of the most difficult words to understand is ‘love’. But something that we can guarantee and that we should have tattooed in the depths of our being is that whoever hurts you, does not love you. Without justifications, no one who loves another hurts or causes tears.
In couple relationships, it is difficult to detect psychological abuse, since it is not as ‘visible’ as physical abuse, but we must be alert and have the necessary resources to avoid it, and if we have not been able to avoid it, to be able to get out of there.
The difficulty of not knowing how to see or not knowing how to react to various types of abuse is due to the fact that we were educated with the idea that, in order to maintain a relationship, “you have to put up with it, you have to give in and you have to swallow”. This is not true, and should never be so.
Communication and reciprocity are two essential pillars on which any healthy relationship should be based. On some occasions, during the course of our lives, we have affective relationships that began with a lot of love and transformed into a relationship with no limits, and the relationship becomes harmful and painful. When you are in a love relationship with a person who does not appreciate you for who you are, you understand that those who do not value you do not love you, because they do not give you the place you deserve for the simple fact of being a valuable person, nor do you It provides everything that a relationship requires, such as dedication, love, respect, fidelity and loyalty. You can’t put your happiness first by trying to meet other people’s expectations.
These people take advantage of those who have low self-esteem to manipulate through contempt and control their victim. No one can hurt you if you don’t allow it. That someone values, loves and respects you depends on you, because the value, love and respect begins in one and the only and true love of your life is yourself, so you must stop looking for in others what you always you have had inside you.
Only by strengthening your self-esteem, will you understand that someone who does not value you does not deserve you, and that person must leave your life immediately.
Relationships begin with hope, we start a new life with the person we love, you have found your best friend, the love of your life, and you expose your soul. We live each day with joy, with faith that we will achieve something more, and we believe that everything is perfect: our relationship, our partner, our life, finally, everything fits. When the dreams within a couple are destroyed by attitudes of contempt towards you, you realize that everything is breaking down and you feel powerless. Your partner is never there for you and sadness begins to take over your emotional space. The saddest thing is to allow them to run over your dignity with insults, contempt and humiliation.
Some characteristics of someone who does not value you are:
–You annoy him most of the time you spend together,
– Does not want to be intimate,
– Humiliates you with cruel words and belittles you,
– Manipulates you with threats.
– Insults you and criticizes you for any reason. He likes nothing you do, not the way you dress, not the way you talk.
– He always blames you for difficult situations,
– He takes all his tension out on you,
– He is aggressive and violent, both physically and emotionally, when he loses control,
– He is materialistic and does not value small details,
– He never apologizes when he has been cruel with you,
– He never appreciates or appreciates from the heart everything you do for him, all the effort, time and dedication in his things,
– He does not accept that you make any claim,
– You always have to look for him to spend time together,
–He enjoys parties and drinking with his friends, but when you invite him, he always has an excuse not to. It is likely that many of these negative attitudes are part of your reality and you continue to allow them to trample on your dignity for fear of loneliness, emotional attachment or obsession. Regardless of the reason why you stay in a destructive relationship, you need to ask for help to be able to get away from this person and understand that it is better to be sad about a separation than to spend the rest of your life living in an aggressive relationship. and toxic that every day decreases your self-esteem and self-love. Do not blame yourself for this, consider that it was a mistake and that you chose the wrong person, now you must take responsibility for your life and recover your personal value, because this is not the time to play the victim,
There are many forms of love and not all offer true happiness. There are those who love because they fear being alone, others love only themselves and there are those who confuse love with domination and possession.
There are relationships that we must leave behind out of emotional and physical need, which is not always easy, because you have a high level of dependency.
To begin with, you have to realize that you are with someone who hurts you and that someone who truly loves does not confuse respect and affection with aggression and contempt. No one can or has the right to insult you, do not consent, do not allow them to tear you to pieces in the name of love. You do not have to live a life like this, you are not anything, you are a creative woman of love, of kindness and bumping into these types of people will only hurt you.
You yourself must withdraw from his life, you deserve a good love, a good relationship, you do not have to endure the pain of your heart every day. Your happiness is far from the person who hurts you. Protect your heart, your life and your dignity. Ask for support from your family, friends and professionals, if necessary.
A quiet solitude is preferable to a company that hurts. You are a brave person and capable of breaking those ties that hurt you. You deserve and should be happy, that’s why we came to this world.