The way in which the woman reaches this age in singleness, can determine how she feels intimately with the situation. If it is something that was not sought, it can generate feelings of low self-esteem (What am I missing, what did I fail in?) and even guilt (What did I do wrong to be in this situation?). All this is amplified by social pressure: phrases like: “Let’s see when you get married?”, “Let’s see when you get married?”, “And when the children…?” It seems that you are already at the age of…?” they frequently ring in her ears, spoken with good or bad intentions. For women, the social pressure is very great, based on the strong cultural mandate towards motherhood and being a mother as the maximum expression of femininity.
This strongly collides with the decision of many of them, who prefer to fulfill themselves in other fields, such as professional or labor and for this reason, even more so in the middle and upper strata, marriage, family and children are not the only option. In other cases, the achievement of a family or motherhood is among their goals, but they are simply postponed. On many occasions, if the woman has a relationship that assures them that those goals will come later, they calm down, but if they are alone, anxiety begins because of the vital time that is running out. Another situation is when a relationship of many years and “serious” is interrupted, for whatever reason, and the woman is left alone in her thirties, with her desire for motherhood and family in tow and a disappointment on her shoulders. .
In the case of men, the situation is very different. The decision not to settle down, get married or not have children still in their thirties is not so questioned and, in some cases, is even celebrated. Socially, it is considered that men “have more time”, also based on biological differences: women can be mothers until a limited age (according to various studies, until their late thirties or a little more) but men can procreate by themselves. many more years.
How to be single at 30
If you have reached your third decade of life and you are single, whatever the situation that has led you to that, the first thing you should do is an honest self-assessment.
Do you feel good about yourself? Have you come this far by your own decision or are you conditioned by different situations?
If you are like this because of your own thinking, ignore the pressures you may receive and move on with your personal goals. It is your life and your right to achieve happiness by the path you choose.
If not, take control of your life and your time.
The first thing you must recognize is that it is not the end of the world and rather, take it as an opportunity, enjoying moments and situations that you could not do in other circumstances.
You have more time for yourself and you can organize your studies, your work and your personal life without being accountable to anyone and without anyone depending on you.
Use your free time in activities that make you feel good: paint, write, go to the gym, study a language. Additionally, you will meet people with your same interests and you will be able to expand your circle of friends, since it is common that your friends from before are at another time in their lives and cannot share certain experiences. Organize your finances to meet your goals. Traveling is a good alternative to see things in a different way: it is not money spent, but rather invested in your own well-being. The opportunity to dispose of your money on your own is an opportunity that many do not have. You have the opportunity to do exactly what you want in the way you want.
Reaching this age without commitments has a great additional advantage: you already know exactly what you like and what you don’t, you know how to differentiate what is important from what is accessory. Renew your house or your apartment, put aside everything that is too much, you will have more space for your new situation. Do everything more to your liking, this will make you feel very good.
Give love a chance, according to your true feelings, which will now have a great ally: the enormous experience of your lived years. Now you are able to reconcile what your heart tells you and what your brain tells you, choose what is best for you, remember that not all people are the same and separate the wheat from the chaff. Finally, be a little selfish, anticipate your own well-being to that of others, give yourself little pampering and treats, learn to enjoy your solitude… Life goes on without stopping and you must be the owner of your destiny from now on.