This type of personality makes others accept the dominant role that is tacitly offered to them. There are those who have a more dominant personality, which can better complement the role of the submissive. There are aspects of the personality as common as: kindness and empathy, which are characteristics that we value positively in others, but if these are taken to the extreme, one can fall into a submissive role. Where the person has to yes or yes, obey another.
With respect to certain psychological characteristics, these can be useful or problematic, with respect to how they influence the relationship that we can have with others. Our well-being or discomfort is influenced by ourselves and by how we relate to the outside world. That is, we can be affected by how our attitudes influence others. Next we will see what characterizes submissive people, and what this means in their day to day.
1. Conflict avoidance
Submissive people can have extreme avoidance behaviors with respect to all kinds of confrontations, no matter how minor. That means that they usually make great sacrifices to prevent these “clash of wills”. They are willing to spend a lot of time, effort and resources so that others are not disappointed. Sometimes, these types of people feel a deep aversion, even for the idea that the other feels impatience or anger. The real submissive attitude generates a bond of total dominance, including the mental. It cannot respond to an urge to control or use another, that is, there is no instrumental interest involved. When there is, then it is simply considered a manipulation.
2. A painful past
Although it does not occur in all cases, submissive people often have a past in which they suffered abuse or bullying. This past makes it learned that others will attack at the slightest displeasure. In turn, this encourages others to accept that dominant role that is granted to them. Many times, they do not realize or do not know how to maintain balance in the relationship.
3. Discreet personality profile
In general, they do not want to attract attention. For this, they can hide behind the person with the most dominant personality in order to avoid conflicts and humiliating moments in which any aggression initiated by others probably cannot be responded to proportionally.
4. Tendency to be shy
Submissive people do not have to be introverted, but they are usually shy. An introverted person is one who has a way of perceiving their emotions and life experiences more internally, normally does not comment on them, nor does it express them with others in a public way. People who have traits of shyness tend to think almost obsessively about the image they give, and about what others may think about them. In this regard, it may be that these people are more likely to cause a bad first impression because they act submissively, therefore, they may be less valued socially.
The above, as you might imagine, means that they have a bit of difficulty relating to others. Some examples are: being able to maintain or initiate informal conversations with strangers or initiate formal dialogues with people you do not know well, this is a consequence of that attempt to maintain a discreet profile.
5. Creating dependency links
It is common for them to establish asymmetric relationships based on dependency and to adopt the role of someone who needs protection. In very extreme cases, such as those in which a psychiatrist and a psychologist have diagnosed Dependent Personality Disorder, this can reach the extreme of serving the “protector” in everything, so much so that nothing is done other than serving him.
6. Lack of assertiveness
People with submissive traits are characterized by preferring to focus on what others want or need. Consequently, they tend to speak relatively little about their own views or opinions. Sometimes it can be difficult to know what their real motivations are, because they may avoid talking about them explicitly.
7. They try to please others
As has already been said during the article, these people will try to avoid having any fight or dispute at all costs. So the most important thing for them is to try to satisfy others. Consequently, they often do not mind disclosing or making explicit their status as the “dominated party” in a relationship. When they get upset, they tend to express it in a passive-aggressive role, where they continue to obey orders.
8. Contracted non-verbal language
They have a body language as discreet as possible, using postures that do not attract much attention. The most common posture is with a lowered gaze, that your arms and legs move slightly outward with respect to the vertical axis of your body, or that your back is rounded.
9. They say they feel bad with relative frequency
Because: they seldom make concessions to themselves, that they often get more tired, go through more moments of stress or effort than most of the people around them, then the only way they have to give themselves a rest is to push your body to the extreme. In this way, they look like they wanted to do things so as not to go against anyone, but they couldn’t.
10. They speak little
They only speak in superfluous conversations, since that way, they don’t stay with the attention, as could happen when narrating childhood anecdotes or if it is explained what are the life projects that they plan to move forward. There is also a tendency to have little contact with most people and hardly talk to strangers. In the latter case, it can sometimes be observed that they do not know what to say or how to interact.