Over the years, many have asked themselves the question about the impact that the age difference can have when they think about taking that big step down the aisle.
Two renowned specialists in couple relationships, Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and his wife, Dr. Elizabeth A.Schmitz, give a concise answer to this question: It depends and, immediately, they go on to analyze the subject based on the many interviews they have done to couples around the world.
“Through the hundreds of contacts we have had with couples we have determined that when you truly love, age does not matter much in most aspects of the relationship. However, there is a very real point related to this: there are certain circumstances in which the difference in age does affect the love relationship and, therefore, the marriage, ”the experts note.
Reviewing a series of possibilities, they point out that, for example, if a 17-year-old woman plans to marry a 47-year-old man, perhaps the idea is not such a good one, since the experiences of a practically adolescent are very different from those of a person who is already He has more than four decades to his credit.
At 17 you could still say that he is a teenager in most respects, whereas a 47-year-old is someone who has probably had a great deal of experience and has generally lived through the trials and tribulations that life has to offer. always present. These differences can mean great challenges for the relationship, without a doubt. “The potential success of a marriage really does depend on the maturity and level of experience of those who love each other. The plain and clear truth is that there is no magic age difference when it comes to love and marriage. However, in our experience we have been able to see that the shorter the difference between two people who love each other, the greater the possibility of building a love that lasts.
Whether the age difference is one, five, 10 or more years, true love trumps everything else. The real question is rather how to know that it is true love?, versus another question “how old is the loved one?”. Loving is much more important than any age difference between two people who claim to love each other, experts say.
An example that can be used as a mirror
To better understand the above, Drs. Schmitz exemplifies the relationship between Marco and Susana, who are 48 and 37 years old, respectively. Both are divorced and, according to experts, both have experienced terrible marriages. The best thing that has happened to them is to have found each other.
In reality, they have fallen deeply and unequivocally in love with each other. “Hearing you both describe your love relationship is wonderful and hopeful. They are redefining true love, not only do they love each other but they have learned what it means to feel respected within a relationship, they now know what mutual trust and honesty are (both intrinsic values of a successful relationship) and they value each other as human beings worthy of the greatest respect, admiration and affection”, point out the experts. They add other details of the couple such as that both Marco and Susana have children from a previous marriage and that both love them deeply and protect them in an extraordinary way and, for this reason, both agree that they could not love another man or a woman who will not also love her children.
“That is very good for them. At the beginning of the relationship they were very cautious about the age difference between the two. But over time this ceased to be an obstacle and now they have focused on staying together, loving and supporting each other because they have realized that their respective ages do not interfere with their most important decision: to move forward with their relationship, “they indicate. the Schmitz doctors.
What the investigation has revealed
For these experts, after three decades of research on the subject, they have learned that love puts aside any consideration when infatuation reaches its maximum level and, in most cases, when it reaches marriage, regardless of the age of marriage. the members of the couple or the difference in years between those who love each other.
Most marriages are successful when the age difference between the two people who love each other is approximately 10 years or less. When the difference is greater than 10 years, the success rate begins to decline. On the other hand, when the difference is less than 10 years, the success rate goes up. In other words, one could say that it is generally true that the smaller the age difference, the greater the chance that the marriage will succeed.
However, the Schmitz doctors assure that there is no magic elixir when it comes to love. “Being in love, loving without barriers is more important than age. Age could be a relative thing in a relationship.
Moreover, age is less important in a relationship than love and, furthermore, love has no time and many can give reason for that. On the other hand, each person, each couple feels and thinks individually and that is precisely what attracts the potential partner”, they point out.