Jose Jose was always right: love and love are not the same. Thanks to the tremendous confusion that has been born from the appearance of social networks and technological advances that seem to make life easier for us, our feelings have become a kind of homogeneous mass that is difficult to assimilate completely. Although the first sentence of this article may have seemed more like a joke than a serious sentence, we can say almost with certainty that in 1977, the lyrics of ‘Amar y Quiero’ were obvious at 3:36 minutes; what is curious is that if this had come out in 2017 it would surely have involved one of the biggest revelations of the moment and there would be no media that did not talk about it without praising it.
The reason why this would be a possible scenario is simple: the sentimental confusion to which we are subject has led us to believe that these two concepts not only go hand in hand, but are synonymous. In this way, as we get to know more people, our history of words of affection is filled with meaningless wants and loves whose linguistic load decreases until it becomes something as common as saying “hello”.
In case the song by Jose Jose was not enough to exemplify this point, we could refer to another slightly more digestible Prince: the one created by Antoine de Saint-Exupery in 1943. In one of the passages of his children’s novel “The Little Prince”, The French author gives us a life lesson that everyone should read at least once in order to never have in mind the real difference between loving and wanting. Everything is summed up in this innocent dialogue between the little character and a fragrant rose that unexpectedly appears on his planet: “I love you,” the Little Prince told him. “I love you too,” replied the rose. “But it’s not the same thing,” he answered, and then continued, “Wanting is taking possession of something, of someone.” It is looking for in others that which fulfills personal expectations of affection, of company.
We find this same reflection in Buddhism, which tells us that when we want a flower we pluck it to take it with us; On the other hand, when we really feel love for that plant, what we will do is constantly water it in order to make its life long and full of comforts. Likewise, it is associated with the idea, also Eastern, that when one wants or desires something, the only thing one is doing is surrendering to the suffering caused by not being able to obtain what one is looking for.
Loving someone inevitably means waiting for that person to return the gesture with the same intensity as us, which is often impossible; sometimes what we want is very far from our reach, because simply what she wants is not within us and as a consequence, suffering will invade every corner of our body that, even given over to the confusion of concepts, will say that all the pain he feels inside is due to unrequited love and not a desire that could never come true.
Love, as perceived by the Little Prince, is about giving everything without expecting anything in return. When we act with love, the only thing we hope for is that the subject of our love lives fully, it doesn’t matter if he reciprocates us or not; our only reward will be his happiness. Therefore, when we realize that his smile is sincere and full of life, the happiness that this gesture transmits in combination with our love, leads us to feel content far from any desire that is difficult to achieve. It is also realizing that among all the people in the world, there is no one whose well-being concerns you as much as that of the one you love in particular.
The ideal would be to understand these two concepts and learn to differentiate them so as not to make mistakes in the future, which could lead us to suffer instead of enjoying each moment ─good or bad─ in our lives; after all, as Saint-Exupery’s character says: it is not enough to understand it “it is better to live it”.
Source: collective culture