Do you trust people and expect a lot from them? Are you convinced that they will act with you as you do?
Do you expect life to give you what you deserve?
It may seem cruel, but disappointment is probably a recurring reality in your life.
Disappointing Certainties
Sometimes we place high expectations on certain people.
We think that our partner will support us against all odds, in an unconditional way or we hope that our family solves problems or that our friends are always there when we need them. We practically impose a moral obligation on them: to be aware of our desires and needs. In a way, it is a way of coercing them.
The best thing is that the people who are in our lives act freely and of their own free will. If they do so, we should be deeply grateful; if they don’t, we shouldn’t be worried or obsessed.
“I wish”
When you expect something from others and think that they have an obligation to help you or be there for you when you need it, you are exposed to disappointment.
Only from yourself should you expect everything. Problems are for you to solve and your fears, you can only overcome them yourself. It doesn’t always work like this: day by day we create expectations about others, with a certain dose of illusion and hope. If you expected an event to go with your boyfriend, but he tells you that that day he will go out with his friends, you will feel disappointed, because you had anticipated something, without taking into account the wishes of your partner and you expected him to go out with you. . If the “I hope” or the “I wish” are unanswered, disappointment, frustration or sadness will ensue.
If you deposited the greatest of certainties in something, just based on your desires, disenchantment can be terrible.
Change your strategy
When moments of disappointment accumulate in your life, it tells you that you should change your strategy: maybe if you don’t expect anything from anything or anyone, you will feel better.
This change is easier said than done, because normally it is a strong habit for us to expect everything (or a lot) from others and think that they have an obligation to help us and be there for us.
Your new strategy should be: not taking anything for granted, avoiding high expectations and exaggerated attachments, not expecting others to be there when you need them, not believing that you will get “what you deserve” or that you will receive love from others. or the collaboration that you give them.
Not expecting anything from anyone or from life, everything is a surprise and when it comes, it’s a great joy (and if it doesn’t come, as it often will, it won’t be a disappointment).
When you search desperately, it seems that everything comes to a standstill, but if you stay calm, things come of their own weight. Many times, we expect others to do things that really correspond to us. Do not wait, do it and if someone, of his own free will, does it for you, welcome, thank and enjoy the unexpectedness of the gift.
Difficult, but exciting
Making this type of decision is not easy: we are animals of habit and changing them implies a permanent mental effort, until the new habit is installed in us.
Let others love you freely, do not subject them to your desires and needs. Allow them to do things for you if they want, but if they don’t, don’t punish them or get depressed, let them be as they want to be. You are not the center of the universe and therefore, nobody revolves around you and when you subordinate others to what you want, you do not consider them as independent people.
This does not mean that you stop giving: on the contrary, when you do it without expecting retribution, you will feel good about yourself, just like when you receive something you did not expect.
The phrase that says: “every action has a reaction”, is normally misunderstood and we understand that every good action has a reward, when in reality it is not necessarily so. If you expect that reward and it doesn’t come, you will be disappointed.
Don’t assume, live
Each person is the owner of a unique personality and has their particular tastes, interests, problems and needs. He has been raised and taught one way and we cannot expect him to react as we think he should or to act in direct consequence of what we gave or did. Learn not to make assumptions about what others will do and you will save yourself many disappointments and bad times. By putting yourself in the mental position of “waiting”, you place yourself in a situation of immobility and not of searching, of stillness and not of movement. When you perform an action expecting something in return, you leave a part of your future in external hands. It is an uncertainty that you created, something that you chose to experience, a situation that you have no control over, but in which you have ironically placed yourself. If things don’t turn out the way you expect, You will have an unforeseen future, you expose yourself to disappointment, regret, frustration, sadness and many negative feelings. You put yourself in the hands of others and resign to be the owner of your destiny and what you feel.
Change the disappointment for not receiving, for the emotion of living. Do not expect anything from anyone, expect everything from yourself and surely your life will take a 180 degree turn.
