Being a fragile person implies having a special sensitivity that the person protects by means of a shell, adding layers to each disappointment and frustrated feeling. Even the most sensitive person can become cold when she feels threatened by a situation she is not willing to go through.

There are situations that are difficult to face, assume and overcome for all of us, such as abandonment, rejection, contempt, guilt, etc. In situations where we feel especially vulnerable, we will retreat in order to protect ourselves. This is a fundamental thing to preserve one’s integrity.

“Without a doubt, his armor protects him from the person who wants to destroy him. But if you don’t let her down, she will cut you off from the only person who can love you.

-Richard Bach-

Being fragile does not mean being weak

Fragility is commonly related and confused with weakness: being fragile indicates the intensity of one’s own emotions, the sensitivity to experience one’s own feelings and the difficulty of showing oneself as one really is for fear of being hurt.

Being fragile I can be strong in the face of circumstances, moving forward and conquering my fears. However, I do not allow myself to be sensitive, even though internally I am suffering, having a hard time and feel alone. I want to appear strong wearing my armor, making me believe that nothing affects me, when in fact it affects me so much that I feel like I can’t take it anymore. We are able to prove our strength when we continue to trust despite betrayals, when we move forward despite our fears and our sadness, when we show our vulnerability and sensitivity to those who deserve it.

Show the way I am

When we repress emotions, when we build walls in front of everything we feel, people only manage to see us superficially, and we even treat other people in the same way, thus having superfluous relationships without a true commitment.

Can we truly know each other that way? Do we give them the opportunity to really get to know us? Adding layers to our armor has these consequences: We take away from who we are. We live imprisoned by fear, in order to keep ourselves closed from pain.

When we are especially sensitive, we develop our ability to avoid being in ourselves, we face the world by developing different profiles, which are different depending on our personality: the shy and embarrassed, withdrawn, excluded, complacent, generous, those who are always available, etc.

In a way, these are all our masks with which we protect ourselves, adopting a predefined role. And so we avoid, whenever possible, talking about ourselves and getting into who we really are.

Learning to know myself giving rise to my emotions

I will certainly feel the betrayal again, I will hurt myself again, and the scars of my wounds will open again. It is something that I cannot avoid, because it is part of life itself, of my journey through it.

If I really want to live it, learn to know myself and connect with others, I will need to expose myself to all this that can happen, even if I feel fragile.

My insensitivity, coldness, my armor, the armor and the walls that I raise are not the solution. Hiding by mixing with others is my own deception, the role I play to feel safe. Everything is a falsehood, a deception that prevents me from recognizing myself.

We anesthetize our sensitivity by preventing it from expressing itself, because when in the past we had the feeling of having found the person with whom to share it, we were betrayed. It is necessary to accept each other little by little, building again an even more real love.

This process is the most vulnerable, since we are rebuilding our identity by taking a step forward, learning to explore and recognize the sensitivity that we hide with locks.

At the same time that we are more exposed, there is a greater probability of being hurt, because these changes imply a transformation in the relationship with another person and in the established roles.

The disappointments we go through, both from ourselves and from other people, help us to see more clearly what kind of people we want to be with. We are selecting through deeper issues such as values, honesty and authenticity.

At the end of the day, this entire trajectory has its lessons learned at every step we are taking. By letting our emotions manifest, however painful they may be, we facilitate the encounter with ourselves, and the deep connection with the rest of the world.

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