Most people value authentic people more and have a bad perception of those who seem ‘fake.’ Sometimes we may think that we should like those who care about external opinions, and who strive to be attractive, good people and to please others, more than those who do their things regardless of what others think of them.

            There are three reasons to try to explain it:

  1. We are more likely to trust a genuine person than a fake, for the sole reason that we believe that those who are true to themselves will be more honest with everyone else.
  2. We associate the genuineness of a person with traits such as strength of character and emotional resistance, attributes that are always pleasant, since being a genuine person requires self-esteem, self-confidence, tenacity, and even courage.
  3. It is always attractive to meet unique and unrepeatable people, with their own personality who do not try to please others at any cost.

When someone likes you naturally, it awakens inspiration in others. This quality can be learned, which can make you a socially talented woman; having as main characteristic to be a fun, pleasant, intelligent person, coupled with characteristics such as humility, closeness and optimism, that is, they have emotional intelligence. It has even been shown that women with these characteristics have a higher income from their jobs, since they have greater control of their emotions, which makes them more productive. Having intelligence and being authentic requires a strategy that will allow you to meet your goals, because your brain thinks faster and becomes more flexible.

Some of the habits that we recommend to be honest with yourself and to make your life and your relationships as enjoyable as possible are:

  1. Be authentic. It means being honest with yourself and with others, as this gives you comfort and confidence.
  2. Ask thoughtful questions. Many people talk so much that they forget that they are with other people around them, someone who also needs to tell something about them. Keep quiet, listen to others, there is always something to learn from someone.
  3. Not judge. It is necessary to learn to have a flexible mind, open to all ideas. It does not mean that you agree with everyone, or that you have to accept others’ ideas, but rather that you are able to understand that we all think differently. This opens up many opportunities for you, as they perceive you as someone tolerant and without prejudice.
  4. Do not seek attention. Always be kind and considerate. This gesture is observable, but rarely considered. Dare to be a person with these characteristics and you will know how to appreciate others and always be grateful.
  5. Be consistent. It is the most difficult to achieve, because it implies having a balance between what you think, what you say and what you act.
  6.  Positive body language. Look people in the eye when you talk to them. Be enthusiastic when you are with someone else, this will make you trustworthy.7. Call people by name. Our name gives us identity as human beings. When we call someone by name, we are telling them that we value and respect them as an equal.
  7.   Smile. Naturally and unconsciously, not with fake smiles. A true smile conveys confidence and empathy, which will make others treat you the same way.
  8.     Play. When we talk to someone we usually touch or brush their forearm, to let them know that we are listening carefully to what they are saying.

The American psychologist Guy Wincj explains that the ‘trips’ of self-improvement and self-discovery always imply making an effort to live a more authentic life. This is why he proposes seven habits that will help you achieve this goal. Remember that balance is important, exaggerating any of these habits can be counterproductive.

– Talk about what is on your mind without shyness.

Take the time to find out your opinions and those of others, do not be shy about sharing your views. The way you do it will make you feel comfortable without having the expectation of convincing others to think like you.

– Responds to internal expectations, not external ones. Authentic people spend time exploring their own beliefs and ideals, to give their life purpose. This is not easy, as they can conflict with family, community and cultural beliefs where you grew up.

– Find your own path.

Being authentic is not just about what you say or think, but what you do. Let yourself be guided by your inner compass and discover your personal way of pursuing your dreams, even if this carries the risk that you will not always be successful.

– Do not feel threatened by failure. It is part of the journey. The vast majority of people follow conventional routes, already armed, supposedly being safer, therefore, it is more likely to achieve success. However, genuine people take the risk of going down less crowded routes, without fear of failure, which is seen as more instructive than threatening.

– Admit your faults and take responsibility for your actions. To be honest with your feelings and opinions, you must be honest with yourself about your thoughts, beliefs and behaviors, which means comparing the bad with the good. Genuine and authentic people tend to recognize their flaws and shortcomings, accept them and take responsibility for their actions.

– Do not judge others. Being honest about your own faults, embracing individuality and differences, makes genuine people less judgmental and more accepting of the people around them. Their assumptions about human complexity allow them to have a purer perspective, which is why they have direct and honest relationships.

– Solid self-esteem. It means having emotional stability, not having too high or too low self-esteem. For example, narcissists have very high but very fragile self-esteem. Having a solid self-esteem allows you to tolerate failure, accept criticism, admit your faults, accept others. It also means that you can value positive and negative feedback, to recognize the aspects of your character that you can improve. There are many characteristics that separate self-confident people from the rest, without falling into arrogance. People who are really sure of themselves have an advantage over those who doubt themselves, since they are able to make things happen.

Finally, being a one hundred percent authentic woman can be difficult, especially if you have been educated to please others, even at the expense of yourself. Do not be demanding until you tear yourself apart, try to change your habits little by little, you will have to be willing that people may not like the ‘new you’, but follow your instincts, pursue your dreams and do in your life what you are really passionate about will bring you enormous benefits, both economic, social, personal and emotional. You will have mental health, emotional intelligence and the ability and strength to say no to what is not good for you.

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