Lies are not recommended at any point in the relationship, as they generally cause problems between the couple. Giving false information or hiding something when you start dating a person is not recommended at all, because it does not give you the opportunity to be known as you are, in addition to the fact that it can cause disappointment over time. Even if your intention is to look good with that special person or pretend that they know your flaws when they “get along better”, these are the lies that you should avoid at all costs, especially if you want the relationship to go well from the beginning.
1) I like it too
Do not pretend to be interesting by pretending that you like the same things as that person. Perhaps you think that with this he will think that you are his “soul mate”. However, this tactic is not such a good idea, because many people are attracted to accessories, not people just like them.
In addition, over time it could result in a terrible disappointment for your partner and an exhausting effort for you. Imagine that you tell him that you also love mountaineering (that you have never practiced in your life because in general you are not attracted to sports), what will you do when he invites you to climb mountains? Will you take intensive mountaineering classes? Will you fake a little accident as soon as they arrive, so you don’t have to climb? Or will you dare to confess your lie?
2) I am not jealous
Is this real or are you just saying it to look good? Most people consider jealousy to be a flaw; however, it is almost impossible for someone not to experience them at least once in their life. If you do not suffer from unhealthy jealousy and you know the importance of trust in a couple, it is good that you express it. But it is also good that you recognize those attitudes or actions that bother you in a relationship and that you are not afraid to mention them.
3) I don’t even go out to the corner
We are in the XXI century, both men and women can have a social life and not stay locked up at home. They both have the right to go out with their friends, either to party or just to have a coffee.
The important thing is that both establish it from the beginning of the relationship and do not have to invent excuses like “I have to go to the dentist” instead of openly saying that they will meet with their friends.
4) I never talk to my ex
In an attempt to make it clear that the past is behind us and old loves are over, many people say things like: “I never talk to my ex-partner, what’s more, I haven’t even met him by chance.” If this is true, there is nothing to worry about. But if you have talked or messaged with your ex, either because they became friends, there is something that still links you (such as a business) or you simply have mutual friends and you meet him in meetings, it is best that you say so. You can take advantage of a meeting where you meet your ex and your new partner is also present. There is no point in presenting him as just another friend and exposing yourself to someone making a comment about who he really is. Remember that the truth always comes out.
5) I don’t believe in that, I’m not even interested
Hiding your beliefs, values and/or convictions is the worst thing you can do. It is not about agreeing on everything, it is about knowing each other as they are and, above all, respecting each other. If you strongly believe in something, be it politics, religion, social cause, etc., don’t be afraid to say so. You might even be surprised to discover that the other person is also interested in that cause or wants to know more about it.
6) That doesn’t bother me
Just as there is no point in lying about our tastes, it is also not a good idea to pretend that something does not affect us. “No, don’t worry, it doesn’t bother me if you’re two hours late.” If something makes you uncomfortable or angry, it is better to talk about it from the beginning so that you can negotiate it and reach an agreement.
It is not worth pretending that something does not bother you when you know that it is so and that at the least expected moment that complaint will be present, which will create more problems, because the other person had no idea that it bothered you.
7) I don’t believe in love (or I do believe in love)
No matter what type of relationship you are looking for, the important thing is to make it clear from the beginning and not send confusing signals that cause the other person to have illusions and then get hurt. In addition, you could also end up with a broken heart, especially if you believe in love but out of fear you say the opposite and then the other person does not offer you the relationship that deep down you are waiting for.