Have you ever wondered if your partner is immature? For you, what does it mean to be someone mature? Perhaps you have never reflected on their behavior and have not been able to detect the level of maturity they have, separately and as a couple. It is always interesting to see how the relationship develops from the moment everything ceased to be happiness, joy and rosy, what attitudes each one has and how they react to the other’s attitudes.
People who want to share a life project usually have several things in common, interests, goals, ways of seeing life. But, as time goes by, things begin to bother you that didn’t affect you before and sometimes you don’t feel as comfortable as at first. This is normal, because as the relationship progresses, it is expected to mature together with you, but this does not always happen.
Little does age matter to define a person as someone mature, but you have to observe their thoughts, their attitudes, their habits and their behavior.
Immaturity in couple relationships has the characteristic of being childish, where the psychological age of people does not coincide with their chronological age. An immature person is identified as being emotionally unstable, for being capricious and tantrum if their wishes are not fulfilled, incapable of establishing sincere and deep affective ties. In short, it is someone with the behavior of a child, but in the body of an adult. There are many things that immature couples do and that we expose below to help you detect if it is you or your partner who has these behaviors:
– He wants you to solve his economy. He hopes that you will have job stability for his benefit, not only for the money, but for the possibility that you will get him a job. She is not self-sufficient in getting a job for herself and doing her own things.
– Blackmail your time. He uses text messages, invents illnesses and is emotionally unstable in order to manipulate you and make you stay by his side.
– It demands that you change your way of being. He knew you as you are, but expects you to behave differently. He demands things from you that are not in your hands and if you do not comply, he ends up in a lawsuit.
– It is governed by social networks. You want every minute of your life as a couple to be published on social networks. The publications of each one become problems and the photographs are a reason for discussion if you do not comment on anything.
– He forces you to do what he wants. He does not accept your tastes and pretends that his relationship is governed by what he likes to do. He wants to share time, money, activities and thought forms, which causes them to act in sync, as if they were one person. This only turns into a toxic relationship, where neither of them has their own identity.
There are also other characteristics that you can observe in your relationship to determine the level of maturity in which they are. One is that there is no commitment. This does not refer to the fact of getting married and having a family, but to the simple commitment to respect each other, to honor words, to fulfill agreements.
The ability to talk about their personal things, to understand how the other thinks, to listen to how their day went, speaks of the maturity of a couple.
If they do not have a truly deep and honest communication, they are not being mature and this means that when there are problems, instead of sitting down to talk and find a solution, they end up running away from them. Mature couples have goals in common. Each member has their own activities, tastes and interests, but they always find something that unites them, the same goal, which can be anything from starting a family, to going on a trip together, to starting a business, etc. Immature couples only seek to fulfill their personal desires without taking into account the wishes of the other and without having a vision of the future as a couple. Immature relationships are jealous and possessive. There is insecurity on the part of one or both and it is believed that it is necessary to control the other so that he does not do anything that seems bad to us.
Both men and women deserve to live in freedom and have independence, which implies understanding that each one has their own life, and that the couple is only a part of this life.
To differentiate your partner between a mature person and an immature person, the psychologist Trinidad Aparicio Perez considers three things that give you the answer: a mature person is emotionally balanced, responsible, coherent and honest with himself. They have self-control and are sure of themselves. He is capable of assuming responsibilities and his attitude towards adversity is to face them, not to run away from them.
It’s not about age or how many partners we have. Many times the maturity in the couple is given by time and personal experiences. Emotional maturity is not given by the number of partners that someone has had, because it comes from the training that has been had since childhood, from the family.
We are the result of what we perceive and it is likely that a person has only had two partners in his life and is capable of acquiring a healthy coexistence with someone, contrary to another person who has had a number of very short relationships and is intolerant and immature.