According to the lawyers who issue divorces constantly, they decided to make a list of certain things that you should avoid and do on a first date to get to this extreme.
Coming to approach a person with questions on the first date can seem a bit “violent” to put it that way because the person may be intimidated, upset and even think that you want to do something bad to them. However, as psychologists and divorce lawyers recommend, detecting certain characteristics of the other person can help you prevent major problems in the future, just as you read it, all success or failure is on the first date. Also, if you do it in a more subtle way, it won’t hurt him. You just have to know how to say certain things and when to say them to avoid any misunderstanding. Next we will give you a series of options for you to use when you have a first date and you want everything to work perfectly, these options are some questions that will help you get rid of doubts:
1. Do you tidy your bed when you wake up?
Although it may seem like a very silly question, perhaps without much sense, it can give us information about the other person’s priorities, which is very important to take into account. What matters most to you: cleanliness, time? Do you prefer to live relaxed or live fast? You will know how to answer these types of questions by asking your date that simple question.
2. Last time you talked to your family?
This is a short and non-intrusive way of asking him about his relationship with his family, which is a very important topic, if you come to consider that family is the most important thing in the world. There are many divorces that occur because family relationships are prioritized over love and it should not be like that, there must be a balance in everything. And on the other hand, poor family relationships can be a sign of personality disorders and an inability to maintain long-term relationships. Be very careful with this.
3. What is it that irritates you most in a person?
On a first date we are just getting to know that person and we always try to show our best face, our best attitude, maybe a bit of a disguise and not as real as we should. However, we all hide some defect that could lead to a great conflict in the future, so we must know what bothers him or not easily to review ourselves and polish those impurities. Things as simple as the other being a neat freak and you being a complete mess, or that you love silence and partying, endless things can be involved at this point so we have to ask about everything we can .
4. Are you married?
It sounds a bit aggressive for a first date because you never know what the other person might think or how the other person might react for approaching you in that somewhat abrupt way, but it is a very important question that requires a clear and simple answer, without many twists or turns. . If he comes to tell you that he is married and makes excuses: “we are going to break up” or “we are going to divorce soon”, it is not the same as saying “I am single” or “I am divorced”. You have to know where you’re getting into and what problems that will cause you. It is preferable to avoid unnecessary problems.
5. Is abortion something negative or positive for you?
Asking somewhat uncomfortable questions of this type, far from what you may think or what he may think, helps people to relax, feel more comfortable, receptive and integrate more into the conversation because it opens the door to share thoughts hidden and experience a variety of emotions that make communication much more interesting and bearable.
6. Where did you go on your last vacation?
This is a more or less under the table, that is, not very direct way of asking your relationship with money. Finding out if he saved up for a big trip or if he just decided on a spur of the moment can tell you a lot about his general attitude toward debt and money. It is a rare and quite simple question that could answer many questions. Economic problems are one of the most common causes of divorce in couples. You may have a stable job and you don’t need anyone to support you, but if you end up in a formal relationship where your partner doesn’t help at home, doesn’t work, takes all your money, doesn’t collaborate in anything, it’s a big problem that can file for divorce. So think about it. You can help many people but only those who want to be helped will succeed.
7. Reason for your last breakup.
Discovering the reason for a divorce or a breakup will help you understand if it is a person capable of reflecting on situations and drawing correct conclusions, or if, on the contrary, he blames others and does not recognize his own mistakes. This is very important because you will see if he is a mature and responsible person for his actions or an immature person who prefers to blame everyone without taking responsibility for anything in his life. This second type of person is the one we don’t want in our lives. If he talks about his previous partner like that, how can he talk about us? Here’s the difference.
We hope that these 7 things will help you when you decide to meet a person on their first date, put it into practice and you will see how well it will go for you.