Some parents have experienced the embarrassing experience of being in the middle of the sexual act and not realizing that there is someone else in the room watching the show, what do we do as parents when we realize that our son was watching us?
If you have not experienced this situation, you have been lucky and probably very careful. Possibly, you have worried about leaving the door closed, you have seen that your children are completely asleep, perhaps there is even a code regarding respecting the privacy of each one. To avoid exposing yourself to this type of situation, you must be prudent and be clear that you are the adult, and therefore, the one responsible for avoiding this situation. For this you must worry about locking or locking the door, teaching your children to knock before trying to open a door and most importantly, talking about sex with your children.
Here are some tips on what to do if your child catches you having sex.
First, we recommend you wait a moment, at least for the embarrassment to pass, then you can talk briefly with your partner about how to deal with the situation. Once both of you are clear about how you are going to deal with this situation, the second step is to talk to your son.
We emphasize that it is a serious mistake to ignore the matter and act as if nothing had happened. The best thing you can do is talk about it so that the child does not face this situation alone, which can be misunderstood. In addition, you must teach him that sex is a normal and desirable act, at the couple and family level. Don’t water it. It is obvious that neither you nor he have done anything wrong. Possibly your child forgot to knock on the door before entering, but that is no longer the main issue, it stopped being when your son saw his parents having sex. If you scold him you will affect the perception of what happened as something very serious. If you have already talked about sex, things will be easier for you, because you will have part of the work done. However, if you haven’t, you’ll have double duty,
When facing this conversation it is necessary that you have in mind to explain, without being ashamed, that sex is a normal act between two people who love each other. You can offer an apology for what happened, but assure him that it is something usual and desirable in a couple. It is better that you speak in general, instead of going into details, for example, instead of referring to yourself and your partner, refer to “a man loves a woman”, etc. You should always take into account the age of your child and what information they are willing to receive. For this, a classification is presented according to the age of your child.
Young children: From birth to three years. According to the studies carried out, a child at this age could identify that it was something violent or frightening. Therefore, in an attempt to lessen his anxiety, you should tell him that you and your partner were having a private moment, but that you weren’t hurting each other. Leave it at that, unless they ask you more questions. If you’re not sure how to answer his questions, you can ask him back, what do you think? And in relation to his hypotheses, if they are correct, you can leave it there and if they are wrong, you can guide him towards a more correct notion.
Children from three years to ten:At this age they already have enough notions about sex, they have probably explored the subject on their own, they have talked with their classmates or looked for information in a father figure, it may be a cousin, uncle, friend, who is a little older and that they see you as someone reliable and experienced in the subject. It may also happen that they want to avoid the subject, that they tend to feel embarrassed, embarrassed or afraid to ask an adult their questions. In this case, it is recommended that you respect their discomfort and do not force them to talk about it. However, as an adult you are responsible for your child having the necessary information so that he can protect himself, that he knows about the dangers that may exist. For example, you can tell him that no one can touch his private parts. Ideally, during this period you talk to him little by little about sexuality, according to his knowledge and interests. With the aim that when they are a little older, or during adolescence, the new information that you are giving them is taken as a topic that has always been talked about, that it is not a taboo subject and that they can ask you certain questions that may arise. .
From 10 to 12 years old:At this age they usually already know a lot about sexuality. If until the age of 12 you have not brought up the subject, you have already taken too long, and it may even in the future begin to be dangerous for your son, because he has to receive certain education in order to have a normal sexual life, this is natural part of his training and you are responsible for him receiving good training in all aspects, including this one. You’ll probably have some difficulty starting to introduce the topic at this point, but it’s never too late! This is a good opportunity to remind her that sex is private and must be performed by adults. Sex should be fun and loving, but it also carries responsibilities. At a physical level, you must know how to protect yourself against illness or pregnancy and at a relationship level, it represents an act of privacy,