For the common denominator of women and society that judges the role of “the other” ruthless, it is impossible to conceive the idea that being on the hidden side of history is not exactly rosy. Our human condition, mined by weaknesses and fears, does not always allow us to look up and see all the angles of the circumstances over our shoulders. Talking about infidelity affects us at the most neuralgic points, where the single word closes ranks around the deceived person, but in a story of 3, victims and perpetrators are part of a whole from which it is difficult to get out without injuries. What can they feel for their second wife?
The third person and the unfinished quest
No one has the highest bar of all to be able to judge more than oneself. That must be the tip of the ball of yarn, before entering to carve to the bottom of the most visceral questions of the human being. Tacit and implicit it seems, or perhaps it is easier, to support the wife who suffers from cheating. Each home is a world, and in matters of relationships, it is impossible to know with certainty what could have happened in that couple for him to look outside the home for “something else”.
It is true that there are many men who acquire the habit of being unfaithful and even being in a stable relationship, they are not able to get rid of it. They are like that and perhaps they will never cease to be, which invites us to reflect on whether or not it is worth staying by the side of a person who will be like this all their lives. But who is really the third person? Probably they have not projected in their life to be the third in discord, nor have they been planning to find the married man, as when looking for Prince Charming. Life simply proposes chess games where the moves are usually presented in a much more complex way than in others and it is necessary to go through winding terrain where love can be present in the midst of the adverse situation.
Of course, just as there are unfaithful men, there are women who occupy second place with other less passionate and loving intentions! No one justifies infidelity, it is a mere description of situations in real life where not everything is so black and white. The shades of nuance are confusing and it is difficult to fully understand the role of the third in discord.
Is it possible for a man to really fall in love with his lover? Why look for a relationship of 3?
Maybe they avoid the problems of reality that overwhelm them or the marriage is going through a crisis, because they need to avoid reality and be with another person, it is that they feel invited to get in touch with a world of fantasy that is not the they endure on a daily basis. Entering another relationship supposes a desire to stay next to someone who contributes something different to what is usual in your life. This also has another flavor for them, because her lover continues to be free, he does not have to show that he assumes any commitment to her, which basically is not the case with her.
According to experts in sexology, men can see that second woman as something unattainable, it represents that adventure, that different experience and it is for them a special woman who may even be brave. As long as it is a case in which he is maintaining a true relationship in parallel to the one he has at home. It is, therefore, a relationship that is also cultivated, fed, they can meet and why not, come to love each other, which does not mean that this is fair for the deceived party.
Taking what was said above as a basis, we could affirm that men can find themselves in a second love relationship and can also develop feelings for that second woman with whom they also share a part of their lives, even if it is in the shadows. He does not see her as a lover, but as that “second love”. They can feel for both women feelings that do not imply the change of space or the role that each one occupies in her life. For him, the wife occupies a very important place, she is the one with whom he shares the home, the house, the children, an old history in common. This does not mean that her second love did not ever come to occupy that role. It is a process that may be long and complex, with many things to weigh in the balance. For this reason it is not something that occurs in common cases, but it happens,