In each of us, even though everything may look normal from the outside, a fierce contest between two powerful rivals normally breaks out.

On the one hand, the heart, which drives us based on our deepest feelings and desires, sometimes dispensing with any contact with reality.

On the other hand, the brain, which raises reason as its main weapon and has another way of working, based on analysis.

Both are in an endless conflict: sometimes one wins, sometimes the other wins. When he wins her heart and something goes wrong later, the reproaches come from the side of the brain: “why didn’t you listen to me?”, He normally says, “why didn’t you listen to what I was telling you?”.

On the other hand, when the winner is the brain when making a decision, there is sometimes a feeling of discouragement and discomfort: “maybe it is the right thing to do, but this decision makes me feel bad”, says the heart.

Is it possible to reconcile these two aspects?

It can be difficult, but it is essential for things to come to fruition.

By turns

Specifically in the field of love, normally these two giants take turns to take control of the situation.


At the beginning, usually the one that rules is the heart. When we meet someone, we are all feeling and passion, dreams and desires. Everything is idealized and we practically do not see any defect in the person in front of us.

In the future of the relationship, when it develops, the work of the brain slowly appears, which begins to order the data that emerges. Sometimes in a cruel way, he makes things appear very clearly that we had not seen before, nothing escapes his analysis.

The heart is very powerful, it practically dictates our feelings towards the world, it makes us see things in one color or another, feel good or bad.

The brain is too: we are rational, we are not unaware of things. Many times our reason clearly shows us the way. Hasn’t it happened to you to wake up and find solved a problem that you had slept with? It is the silent work of reasoning, which adds, subtracts and draws conclusions.

If what they both say goes in the same direction, there will be no problems; but the drawback is when one dictates one thing and the other, the opposite.


It can be at the beginning of a relationship or if you have to decide whether to continue or not: the battle can happen at any time.

In  these moments of tension between one and the other, several things can happen.

Normally it is a moment of deep emotional discomfort, since not knowing what to do generates a painful uncertainty, which can even have physical repercussions.

If the situation does not lean to one side or the other or we do not find a way to reconcile the “opinion” of the heart and that of the brain, we can end up in an uncomfortable position of arrest: we are practically immobilized. Heart and brain do not agree and you are left at their mercy, powerless against their battle and unable to advance in any way.

To do

Actually, it is not something strange that this “pull and loosen” occurs between both aspects.

Although we wonder, sometimes almost desperately, why we can’t get both to work in the same harmony, in reality it is normal that they don’t, since their purpose is different.

The heart allows you to face challenges more immediately and respond quickly, according to the most primary feelings, while the brain analyzes things from a more “rational” perspective, evaluating the pros and cons of each situation, considering aspects such as safety and convenience. Both are necessary to face the world and, therefore, the ideal is to make them work together, complementing each other on different occasions. Achieving a balance is ideal, but many times it seems impossible.

The ideal is that these two aspects are added, not that they antagonize. If we manage to reconcile them, surely the decision to be made is the best for us.

As in other aspects of life, normally the solution is in the middle of what the heart and brain dictate. Meditating and observing within ourselves, we will be able to see what is the most important and transcendent in each situation to reach harmony between the two.

It is also good to consider that, for something to be fruitful, it must combine both aspects in the right measure. The reason by itself does not bear fruit. It helps to understand situations and organize them, but if the heart does not intervene, nothing grows and evolves.

It is also not healthy to attend only to what the heart says, because it could lead us to very complex and negative situations for us.

Listen to what your heart says, but put it through the filter of the brain: surely everything will turn out well.

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