Marrying the person you love is, for many women, a life goal, often the most important.
But it is necessary to recognize that it implies the adoption of great changes in the day to day and it is necessary to put aside certain things that were previously common and normal. On the other hand, it means that there will be rules of coexistence and couples, essential for a harmonious shared life.
The NO’s and the YES’s
1 It seems very logical and should not even be mentioned, but after getting married you have to put an end to flirting with other men. A woman truly in love with her husband will not even think of other options. An “innocent” flirtation can take a different path and cause big problems in your life and in your marriage.
2 In marriage one does not “ask permission”. If you are in such a relationship, you should know that it is not healthy and sooner or later it can lead to major complications, because these are situations that tend to increase over time. Before getting married, it is necessary to establish clear rules to avoid future inconveniences.
3 Do not depend totally on your husband, both financially and emotionally. She always tries to be an independent woman and capable of having her own work activities. She progresses in your work or profession and never stop learning new things.
As for the emotional, do not distance yourself from your family and friends, couples closed in on themselves are not healthy and generate various problems of coexistence with others and within the relationship.
4 He is your husband, not your son, so don’t treat him like one. You don’t have to serve him or take care of him like his mom. Your husband is an independent and capable person, so he will be able to do a lot of things on his own. Find a way to divide household chores (a good measure is, for example, that each person take charge of fixing their own clothes and dividing up the days and kitchen tasks). Running a home is not an easy task, if it is done between two it is lighter and also generates solid ties in the couple.
5 The couple is a matter of two, not three or more. If you allow your mom or his mom to interfere (or maybe other family or friends) you are opening the doors of your house so that everyone gets into the couple. It is very important what your parents or close relatives think (and his) but if this directly influences your relationship, you will end up creating tensions and problems between you and your husband. The decisions of the couple must be made in the couple.
6 Never neglect your personal appearance, both out of consideration for yourself and your partner. He always tries to be the beautiful woman he fell in love with and if possible, even more so. In addition, a good personal image and that you are happy with what you see, feeds your self-esteem and you will feel stronger, which will have a positive impact on your marriage.
7 Never stop talking. Sometimes, daily life, with its monotony and problems, distances us from our partner and we stop sharing important things. Do not let that happen, always try to have at least one meal in common (dinner or lunch) so that you can talk about what is happening to you.
8 Do not forget the “magic” words and phrases: saying “please”, “how was your day?”, “tell me how I can help you”, “I need your advice”, it has bridges of communication and affection that should never be left behind aside and rather, they should always be promoted.
9 Never give the relationship as “done” and “finished”: marriage is something that is built day by day and changes, just as you and he change. The couple is changing according to vital times, the age of the children, the economic and work situation, illnesses and setbacks.
10 Do not let sex decline, it is a unique and wonderful way of connection between people. It may change with age, but it will always remain vital and important in the relationship. Passion and love can change the way you present yourself, but it will always be there.
11 Don’t stop talking about problems. Sometimes we think that sweeping them “under the rug” is the best solution, but in reality they remain dormant that way and can even grow and become insurmountable. If there is something that bothers you, even if it is very small, it is better that you tell him so that he can solve it in time. So you must also be receptive to listening to those things that bother him about you. That way, they will have things clearer and even the couple will come out stronger.
12 Talk about money, even if it sounds unromantic. A large part of the couples have problems because they have not been able to talk about the economic issue and when they have, it is because they were in big trouble. Beyond the affective, marriage is a society in which there are assets of both and it is up to both to make decisions together, especially when it comes to large and significant expenses. Establish a budget and an investment and spending plan that you both agree on, review it regularly to correct the points that are necessary.
The great key to a healthy and happy marriage is communication: if it exists, everything is solvable.