Sexual relations mean a very special moment in a couple, since they are a moment of unique union.
But an error has been perpetuated: there is a tendency to leave aside what happens after the intimate relationship, constituting a kind of “dark moment” and without importance.
This is a big mistake, since it should be used to connect and reinforce the emotional part.
Important moment
The sexual relationship has stages: desire, excitement, orgasm and resolution. What is done and spoken after sex falls into the latter.
In this special moment, men tend to behave differently than women, for biological reasons. Due to testosterone, men tend to be more quiet and even mechanical after sex; instead, the woman seeks a more emotional connection.
This does not mean that man does not seek the same thing, but rather that he is biologically “designed” differently.
If the man and woman do not kiss or caress each other after sex, it may mean that the relationship is not strong. Thus, it becomes a physiological and mechanical action, when the resolution should become a moment of deep affective connection, being like an extension of the previously lived moment.
Not just words
The “after” sexual relationship must be used in a special way.
In addition to words, nonverbal language is important, since it can indicate how the person has passed in the meeting. The attitude of containment is important, a hug and maintaining physical contact is very important.
The man, instead of getting up and rolling over and sleeping, should spend a few minutes making this moment romantic. If he wants to ask or say about what they have lived through, he must do it subtly. For example, after hugging her partner and kissing her, he can compliment her in an affectionate way and ask if she was feeling okay. According to different studies, eight out of ten women complain about their partner for not wanting to end the sexual relationship in that way.
Instead, the woman normally seeks to extend physical contact after the sexual encounter.
What to say and what not
Considering the importance of the moment after the sexual encounter, it is important not to let it go unnoticed. Many women do not comment on anything with their partner, leaving the doubt as to whether they really liked me or if they felt comfortable.
For him to feel more comfortable with you after being intimate, it is necessary to choose well what to say and what not.
If the meeting wasn’t entirely successful, that’s not the best time to bring it up. Mentioning the negative will only cause estrangement, tension and perhaps arguments. Let a couple of days go by to talk about it and choose the words you choose well.
Instead, if the sex was good, talk about what you liked, since it can be a bit awkward to bring up the subject later, in another context. In couples who have been together for a while, showing affection after sex is related to greater satisfaction and favors a better relationship. Many psychologists say that this can mean a lot to men, since they feel a responsibility to please their partner.
These can be phrases that, said after the intimate encounter, can mean something very positive for the relationship.
1 “I just want to be with you”: these words mean a lot to him, since it is clear that you do not need anything else to feel satisfied and it points to a strengthening of the couple.
2 “I love being with you” is a magical phrase. Men want to please her partner and feel like the recipient of her best wishes. Say it to him after being intimate and you will achieve an immediate effect. 3 “Have you been exercising?: It never hurts to increase his self-esteem and physical fitness is a state of concern for many men.
4 “I like waking up with you”: who does not want to wake up next to the person with whom they have spent a fantastic night? Better still is that they tell us.
5 “You’re only mine.” Saying that to your partner is a clear example that you always want to be with him and that intimacy is amazing. “Appropriating” someone (without reaching negative excesses) implies a deep connection.
6 “I like how you do it”: performance in bed is essential in the self-esteem of the vast majority of men, so praising that specific aspect has an extremely positive effect on it. It is always good to flatter the positive aspects of your partner in intimacy, since he will always strive to make you feel good.
7 “I like it when you touch me”: goes along the same lines as the previous sentence, but more specific. If you talk about what was good, for the next meeting you and he will have an even better time.
8 “Touch my body”: these words are very exciting, as they invite your partner to an erotic post-coital game that both of you will undoubtedly enjoy.
9 “Don’t stop kissing me”: if your partner likes to kiss a lot in private, this phrase will make him or her do it again and again… guaranteed pleasure for both. 10 “Where did you learn to do that?: This phrase has some magic, since it clearly indicates that his is something very good and will make him feel proud of his experience and his performance.
11 “I could stay like this forever”: It is undoubtedly a very powerful phrase, because it clearly specifies your current well-being but points to continue in the future. Ideal to strengthen a relationship.
12 As with the physical approach after making love (staying too far away can be interpreted as not liking me and too close can be intrusive and cloying), you must measure your words and pay attention to the signals that come to you from the other side. Being on the same communication “tune” is very important.
The most important thing is that you enjoy the moment, sexuality is something that should bring pleasure to both. What you say and do after the meeting should be useful to strengthen the relationship and point to better meetings in the future.
