If there’s one thing you can never get rid of, it’s people talking or thinking the wrong way about you.

It is not in your power to stop it: whether you do something or do nothing, whether you work well or poorly, whether you come or go, there will always be someone who will say something about you – at best with ignorance and at best. worse, maliciously. Since you can’t stop people from talking, if you can decide what to do with those comments and if you act intelligently, you can even make them something positive for you.

It’s not you, it’s them

As strange as it sounds to put it this way, what other people think of you is their business, not your business. They may know many things (your name, where you live and work, your family, etc), but surely they will not know your deep story, the one that lives in your own skin. They don’t know if the shoes you’re wearing are comfortable or if they have an annoying hole, they don’t even know how much you’ve had to work to get it. The only thing they know about you is what you have told them or what they have found out from other sources, but they really do not know about your intimacy.

Venturing to think something and talk about another person is something very risky, because

You can’t have any kind of certainty about what others feel. We can’t even know what they have experienced and what they have learned. If you stand on one side or the other of the counter, you will learn what attitude you should take in the face of these comments.

those who criticize

There are people who give their opinion about you, your life and your decisions, even though no one has asked them for their opinion.

Sometimes they are educated people, who understand the subject of the criticism and who may even have good feelings towards you: these types of opinions can be valid and allow you to improve in many aspects of your life.

But normally it is not like that: the majority are malicious opinions or lacking any criteria, whose only objective is to harm, belittle and enjoy the sorrow of others.

Generally it is a person with low self-esteem and who does not accept himself, so it will be difficult for him to accept others. They label others in a way and project how they feel about themselves, thus making their emotional difficulties visible. Needless to say, you shouldn’t get into that game. Each of us must walk our path and only we can do it.

It is also our responsibility to value ourselves and stop condemning ourselves for what others say: this means that our value should not be put by others, but by us.

Who chooses the clothes you wear, your hair color, your hairstyle, your shoe? Who chooses your profile picture? If you do all this, why allow yourself to value what you do? Why let a value also be placed on your person from there? And why let that affect you?

If you live only taking into account what others think of you, leaving aside what you think intimately, you will lose your style and your own personality. You will permanently be wearing a kind of “mask” to fit in and you will be more aware of what others say than of your intimate feelings.

How to act

It is common to receive criticism, often malicious; it is inevitable, but you give them an exaggerated value, above what you think inside, you will surely end up with emotional wounds, sometimes very deep.

The first thing to keep in mind is that no two people are the same, so you can’t judge everyone by the same yardstick. What is good and desirable for some, is not for others. Normally those who have different ideas, even if they are good and positive, are misjudged at first. Resistance to change is something that is very present in all activities.

Non-constructive criticism reveals great emotional poverty and deep problems in the person who performs it. If you take them into account and allow them to affect you, you will simply enter a web of bad feelings, which will bring nothing good to your life.

If you give too much value to criticism, it can affect you deeply, here are some tips to avoid it.

1. Do not act or respond impulsively or aggressively: accept that there is nothing you can do. You may be able to convince or silence one person, but not everyone. No matter what you do, there will always be those who think differently.

2. The people who speak obviously do not occupy and surely will not occupy a place of importance in your life, otherwise they would not be doing it. Therefore, what they say is irrelevant and does not matter. Your happiness lies in your progress and that of your loved ones. This should not be affected by what others think, feel or do. 3. Smile and always show security and indifference. Laugh at the situation, make sure they know you’re happy despite what they say. This should not affect your life or your performance.

4. Do not allow the comments of others to make you feel like a victim; In fact, if they talk about you, it means that you are doing something and that you are probably doing it well. Celebrate the fact that others feel the need to talk about you.

5. Surround yourself with positive people who love you, they should be your best support when your strength weakens. Foster bonds in your work or in your place of study, be kind to your colleagues, improve your relationship with them, sincerely care about their problems, offer to help.

6. Use the comments to your advantage, analyze them, perhaps they have some truth and will help you improve an aspect that you had not perceived before. In this way, from something that seems negative you will get something very positive.

7. Do not allow a criticism or a malicious comment to block you or prevent you from moving forward with your projects. You have to recognize a sad reality: whether you do or don’t do it, whether it’s right or wrong, criticism will come and someone will always talk about you, so you should always go ahead with your dreams and projects. No matter what you do and how you do it, there will always be someone who misunderstands you, either unintentionally or completely intentionally. Live and act doing what you want to do inside: in this way, what you do will always be the right thing, because it will be in real harmony with what you feel.

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