If we look in the dictionary for the meaning of the word “love” we find that it is defined as a feeling of lively affection and inclination towards a person or thing to which all good is wished.
When we talk about true love we see that there is respect and affection, that there is a balance between freedom and commitment, without the need to be possessive, that it brings happiness, pride and well-being instead of suffering to the members of the couple, that is to say that the true love above all is selfless.
But… how do we know if we are already in true love? Or how to promote true love in the couple? Here we leave you the characteristics of love without selfishness so that you can identify it.
Self-love.
Everything begins with us, if we are well, we feel confident and secure, we do not fall into dependencies and we are much more predisposed to give and receive.
We must start with our assessment. Knowing our virtues and our defects, to enhance the good and improve what we need; self-esteem is a key piece to generate healthy relationships.
We can say then that self-love needs internal work, to prepare and complement oneself with the other person, without falling into dependencies or demands, and being aware of what we can give and what we deserve.
Their happiness gives you happiness and vice versa.
When love is not selfish, its achievements become yours and vice versa. They participate in their successes.
Also, when we live a relationship, we seek the happiness of our partner. If all the time you try to make him happy, to accompany him in the things he likes and you realize that he responds to you in the same way, I encourage you to tell you that your relationship is on the right track.
Share the heavy load.
When everything is happiness it is always easier, having someone with whom to share the burden of the problems that arise, helps us to travel more lightly along the path of life, allows us to overcome obstacles and move faster. It makes us evolve and grow together without feeling that we are victims of the world.
Sharing difficult moments is also one of the characteristics of a love that is genuine, unselfish and will last over time.
Work on the relationship.
Two people enter a relationship who, although they choose each other because they have some things in common, are different, neither of them is perfect and therefore their relationship will not be either.
Accepting those imperfections and working on it is and although it sounds contradictory that they live a perfect love. A relationship is built day by day, with foundations of trust and dialogue.
It is to form a team that has the same objective: to grow with and in the relationship.
Putting empathy, support, honesty, and complicity as pillars will make them have a solid relationship.
It is free, offers and does not demand.
A love without selfishness is free, offers and does not demand. It is not possessive or blackmailer because they are aware that they are together because they chose each other.
There are no manipulations, victimhoods or reproaches that dirty the relationship with mistrust and false expectations.
In a love without selfishness there is respect in the individual growth of the members of the couple.
They are not needed, they are preferred.
As we said in the previous point, they trust that they were chosen to be part of a relationship. They are together because they are chosen, they prefer each other, they do not depend on each other, but rather they enhance each other.
Choosing and being chosen means giving even greater value to the person we love for who they are, with flaws and virtues. It is working for the growth of both.
They do not believe in the “half orange”
Non-egoistic relationships do not believe in the average orange theory, because they know that they are not incomplete beings who are out there looking to make another responsible for completing what they lack.
A love free of selfishness, has as its members two beings who are complete (and they know it), willing to give their best. They do not complement each other but accompany and compromise.
In summary and as a personal opinion I believe that for there to be a love without selfishness we must start with self-worth, and acceptance of the other.
So that the relationship is not selfish, it must be free, without manipulation of any kind, they must be aware that they choose and prefer each other for who they are.
Accepting each other in good and bad times, sharing successes and helping each other to improve defects contributes to the growth not only of the relationship but also of each of the members of the couple.
Having trust and absolute complicity and knowing that they can count on each other unconditionally because they feel the same fills the relationship with pure and generous love and without selfishness.
Video owned by David Marquez
