As a society, we are currently very used to chatting with other people during the day. In fact, when we want to talk to someone, the first thing we think of is to do it via chat and then there are other types of communication, such as: calling by phone or meeting physically. Unless the situation is completely urgent. Within the maelstrom, which is my life, I feel tired of the cell phone completely consuming my attention and being the receiver of my emotions and thoughts. I write this post with the purpose of being able to make visible how negative it can be to use the chat so much. As a result of the above, for my part, I am going to start talking more and better with those I love and those I care about.
Why don’t we talk anymore and just “chat”?
I firmly believe that social networks and digital communication media have had an important space in our lives, within the positive, we can name that: they have opened incredible doors for us, both to information and communication. They have allowed us to reach further, deeper, and to be able to spread information at a higher speed.
What is not new and surely many will agree on this point, is that these networks, these media and technology have also distanced us from those closest to us, causing people to reduce the number of words we say to each other by through our voice. This post comes with a bit of relief and frustration. This is caused by not being able to speak well with those I care about, not being able to communicate long enough to have a proper conversation, without interruptions. So, when you talk to another, you have to be patient with interruptions and slow responses, as a result of looking at the cell phone. And it is that chats have not only made people communicate at all times and places, which at first might seem good.
What I am trying to put on the table is a reflective debate on the disadvantages that the “indiscriminate and abusive” use of chat as a daily form of information can have for society. It should be noted that any of us can be very upset by this issue, despite using the cell phone a lot in our daily lives.
The chats have allowed us to experience a sense of immediacy and urgency, they are useful to us when we need quick information or when we ask for help.
But, what happens when I’m in my free time or on break and they write me a message waiting for my answer? Does it happen to you that you feel obliged to answer these messages? What happens if I don’t want to answer? should i answer the same? It causes me a doubt and I don’t know if I have the duty to answer at any time at any time of the day, any day of the week, in any circumstance. In this regard, it is not only that they send me messages, but that the rest of society really expects me to answer immediately, after having read the message and in case of not being able to do so, due to omission, error or will, there will also be a series of judgments around my behavior. It’s like it’s not valid not wanting to answer messages all day.
I understand chats for work, for urgent things, to coordinate several people or to organize events, but there are three types of chat that I can’t understand:
– The family chat: In the families a chat is made to “talk”. But hardly anyone really talks deeply in a group chat, even if it’s just with close family members. – The chats with close friends: They are chats that we have with friends, whom we see daily or among the friends that we urge all the time in the chat, but we do not call them. – The school chat: I really can’t understand these. They are a real nightmare. I will talk more about these later.
With regard to my personal opinion, this express communication thing has robbed us of the opportunity to speak to each other with our voices, to look each other in the eye and to spend more time together.
In addition, it has become essential when making decisions, it seems that “everything” has to be confirmed in a chat, before taking any step. This happens between couples, friends, regarding children, school, etc. So the chat is not only acting as a means of communication, but has become a means of reaffirming decisions. We are all getting used to these new means of communication, through which we are learning to communicate better with each other, because we see the advantages that they can have in the long term, if they can be replaced with some degree of effectiveness, the expensive relationship to face. However, it is still a channel in which much of the non-verbal is lost. The chats have robbed us of certainty, because people need to confirm any agreement reached: if we are going to see each other, yes, they are going to come for us, where we are, what we do, who we are with, what happened… and that only with texts and sometimes, these are abbreviated or represented by emoticons or gifs (which I do not deny, they are fun), but communicating really requires much more than words, emoticons or gifs. Using the example of school chat, at the parent-teacher conference that happened earlier this year, we were expressly asked not to use chat to badmouth teachers or to share schoolwork. But it turns out that it is used, in large part, hopelessly for it. Also, to a lesser extent, it is used to remember important school events and invites to children’s parties are confirmed. These are abbreviated or represented by emoticons or gifs (which I don’t deny, they are fun), but communicating really requires much more than words, emoticons or gifs. Using the example of school chat, at the parent-teacher conference that happened earlier this year, we were expressly asked not to use chat to badmouth teachers or to share schoolwork. But it turns out that it is used, in large part, hopelessly for it. Also, to a lesser extent, it is used to remember important school events and invites to children’s parties are confirmed. These are abbreviated or represented by emoticons or gifs (which I don’t deny, they are fun), but communicating really requires much more than words, emoticons or gifs. Using the example of school chat, at the parent-teacher conference that happened earlier this year, we were expressly asked not to use chat to badmouth teachers or to share schoolwork. But it turns out that it is used, in large part, hopelessly for it. Also, to a lesser extent, it is used to remember important school events and invites to children’s parties are confirmed. which happened earlier this year, we were expressly asked not to use chat to badmouth teachers or to share schoolwork. But it turns out that it is used, in large part, hopelessly for it. Also, to a lesser extent, it is used to remember important school events and invites to children’s parties are confirmed. which happened earlier this year, we were expressly asked not to use chat to badmouth teachers or to share schoolwork. But it turns out that it is used, in large part, hopelessly for it. Also, to a lesser extent, it is used to remember important school events and invites to children’s parties are confirmed.
Regardless of the main objectives for which the chat was created, it usually becomes a sea of endless notifications. Of which, the majority lack value, they consume our time, our attention and above all, they take away our independence, since we need all the people in the chat to agree for us to do the same. It is also used to share personal complaints and/or tasks that the children did not write down. Regarding the latter, as parents we are supporting the child’s absence of a sense of responsibility, because the child learns that if he does not write down the homework, with a simple call, everything will be fixed.
I must say that school chats seem to me to need some regulation, perhaps what I communicate later may cause me to be expelled or blocked from several of them. However, the truth is that I consider that it is also a means that supplies the need to be in contact with our children regarding their tasks or activities. There you can see that many parents consult how their child should be dressed the next day, or what the schedule of a certain activity will be (despite the fact that, surely, we have already received an email or a circular with the information).
To all of the above, you can add childish language, which for some reason women adopt when talking to other women who are also mothers. In my case, between 6 and 10 in the morning, I can have anywhere from 20 to 60 unread notifications. Most of them say something more or less like the following: “pretty mammies… do you know what plan they left for today, is that so-and-so doesn’t know and I don’t want her not to do her homework because today she feels bad and I’m not going to take her to school …” and from there arise a minimum of 30 answers. From inconclusive exclamations, faces or wholesale recommendations. Then, when they see each other, they exchange three or four words and go back to their cell phone.
I don’t know what you think, but at the very least, I don’t want my children to learn that they must have a cell phone to “be able to communicate with others”, because that’s not true. In addition, I want my children to have confidence in themselves, in the people around them and in their own choices and that this does not depend on them confirming it seconds before via chat or text. I want to stop missing things in my life, like: my friends, my family, the moment or the landscape, etc. in exchange for looking at a cell phone. I want to laugh with people and not with a screen, I want to be able to tell anecdotes that are not supported by what I saw on a social network. I want to feel safer when driving, because I am one less person who will not use the phone in the car, or when I am walking or crossing a street, or when I am in the mall. Just to read a joke or have to write “ok” or “congratulations”, or “lol”. If it’s just that, it’s not really that important, and if it is, I think it’s better to use the so-called.
I think we should be more frank and genuine. That has cost me to get kicked out of several chats.
I think that we should use the chats only when necessary and thus be able to thank others for their time when they answer us, and use it in a basic and non-abusive way.
If it’s for me, I prefer that my children stop carrying out some homework, than to enter into the endless chain of “hahahaha” or smiley faces or “thank you”, or “I do, I do too, I don’t, etc”. The same with respect to families, before we had the phone to meet each other and now we have it to get away from each other. That even grandparents don’t talk anymore and want their love to arrive via chat, it just doesn’t work for me.
But well, they say that a talker falls faster than a lame, so, as a personal reflection or written thought, I’ll leave this here for you to consider the next time you join a chat group. My intention is for them to think before writing a message and, above all, to assess whether the person they want to contact deserves a text or to hear their voice, or if better still, we deserve it, because life is short, it goes fast and tomb no one will be able to take your cell phone, even if it has a full battery.
